u|preacher

www.pastorryan.com

2011-01-01T15:42:00.002-06:00

"Every new beginning is some other beginnings end." - Semisonic

Good ole' upreacher.blogspot.com. You have been good to me - better than I have been to you. I began this blog in an effort to report back home on one of my first trips to Africa. Now, as I prepare for our big 3 month trip to Rwanda, I have decided to open a new site.

So . . . any lingering readers who would like to follow along on my next big mission trip, I invite you to turn the page to www.pastorryan.com - my new home for blogging and such!

Hiking Stick

2010-03-12T10:49:00.000-06:00

With clear, cobalt skies and a warmth that has been long missed, I spent Thursday hiking around a friend’s ranch just north of town. I have been stuck in the gloom of winter for too long. A true child of South Texas, a true child of God – I am made for the sun and for the Son.

I hiked and hiked. I hiked along the river and watched the strong spring rains pushing their way through the recently dry bed of stone. I hiked through a field recently burned, scorched clean that new life might soon emerge. I hiked over green grass attempting to reclaim ground lost in the cold of winter. I hiked through the closeness of cedar breaks and I hiked through the open meadows cleared by the gardener’s plow.

I had great hope for all my hiking. I am desperate to clear my mind and empty my heart.

Along the way, I picked up a cedar remnant – lightweight, but tall enough to serve as a walking stick. I think it was once the trunk of a sapling that was cut down. It became my companion on my journey (though it didn’t say much). My stick had tough, flakey bard and a number of “nubs” – tiny protrusions marking where branches once grew. As I walked – three steps to each swing of the stick, my handhold slowly grew more smooth. The friction and sweat of my palm began to wear the walking stick’s hard edges down.

Of course, that same friction and sweat bruised and tore my palm. I contemplated that for a mile or two.

I find myself in the hand of God these days. I am pained as my hard edges are slowly worn off. My soul is sheared and I am left hurting.

But I am not alone. As much as a father experiences joy in his son’s pleasure so also a father suffers in his son’s trial. I mourn that my hard edges bruise and batter the hand of God as he patiently shapes me. His discipline shapes and forms us at such great cost. Oh how he must love us.

My mind is still too full and my heart still too heavy. What can I do but hike on in the hand of my God?

despues de

2009-10-22T09:31:00.001-06:00

Now that I am home, I have had the chance to reflect quite a bit on our missionary expedition in Central America. Here are some thoughts I’ve had.

1) The people we worked alongside of in Costa Rica are amazing. They have literally sold out for the sake of the Gospel and it shows. From their countenance to the fruit of their labor, it is clear that God honors their radical obedience. This was true from Bishop Palomo to the Zirkels to the interns.

2) More than ever, I am convinced that there is a Movement of God’s Spirit restoring and renewing the Methodist Church. This Movement is inspired and fueled by the Will of the One. The fundamental dissatisfaction with the state of the world is found in all corners of the globe. People of all ages – but particularly young people are sensing that something is profoundly wrong with the world.

3) I believe that the message of Christ and his Revolution is universal. There is no language barrier or cultural limitation on the strength of the Gospel. My cute stories and personal anecdotes cannot change lives, but the Word of God does. It is a sword that is piercing the heart of people everywhere. It breaks the chains of oppression. Where the Scriptures are shared, lives change. My preaching has to be strong, researched, and the best God has for me to give – each time – every time.

4) The call to join in Kingdom building work is supposed to be challenging and life changing. Small alterations in our life patterns is not what Christ demands. He wants it all. If you want part of him, you must take it all. People know intuitively that the Gospel is a call to die – not just clean up a little. I must sell out to press the cause of Christ. My preaching is to be a fearless call to holiness that makes everyone uncomfortable. Necessarily, this will include me as again and again I am reminded of my own sin and love of comfort.

5) University may well be the epicenter of God’s renewal of the Methodist Church. I don’t say this lightly, I know it seems self-serving. Yet, revival begins somewhere – this I know. Why not here? Why not here? If we are a committed congregation of obedient people practicing radical sacrifice and ceaseless prayer, will God not delight in answering our prayer for regeneration? University is my home. The strength and gifts that God has placed in our sweet church are beyond the norm. Where much has been given, much is due. If we truly believe that God is willing to begin a Worldwide Methodist Movement from within our walls, then perhaps he will.

6) Finally, I am certain that there is no such thing as going deeper in our discipleship without growing wider in our witness. There is a subtle Christian lie that is quite popular. It states that we can concentrate on growing deeper while neglecting our evangelistic calling. The disciples were sent before they knew it all, before even the words of the New Testament were recorded and collected. Going deeper in our discipleship and faith is impossible unless we are reaching out with our witness and invitation. To this end, we can never stop going, never stop sending, never stop growing.

Segundo Domingo

2009-10-14T09:33:00.001-06:00

We awoke bright and early Sunday morning with a full agenda. First, we traveled out to the sight where Ray, Lydia, and the Methodist Church is building a children’s home.

This is a project being supported by University. In response to overcrowded orphanages, Ray & Lydia are spearheading the construction of a campus where children will have their lives forever changed. Several years ago, the church was able to purchase seven acres just outside of San Jose. It is a stunning piece of property that is bordered by a river that cuts through the area. The first of several homes is now under construction. When completed, the campus will have a number of homes – each housing 10-12 orphaned children. Each home will have a permanent set of “house parents.” In addition, a large building will be constructed to serve as a rainy-day play place for the community. It is a huge undertaking that will take years to complete. When finished, children without hope and without a family will find opportunity beyond imagination.

On our scouting trip, Mark and I had visited the sight and taken in the vision. Together, we decided that we would use every opportunity we had to help support the construction. Thus, Sunday morning we filmed on the sight and are preparing a video to show everywhere we go this coming year. Mark and I get invitations all year long to lead worship and preach. Part of our “yes” this year will include the opportunity to show the video and take a love offering to support the children’s home in Costa Rica.

We finished filming and drove on to Puerta Viejo which is a couple of hours outside San Jose. We attended the Methodist Church there and thoroughly enjoyed worship. We met on an open air slab covered by a tin roof. Just across from us a permanent church building is being built. It will include a sanctuary, office for the pastor, free clinic, and an apartment for a missionary nurse from the states who will run the clinic.

As it happened, it was “Missionary Sunday” at the church. Pastor Fernando preaching one of the best sermons on outreach I have ever heard. I was seriously impressed and hope that someday I can invite him to University to share the message. More impressive than his sermon though, was the work of his church. Though they are meeting under a tin roof with an incomplete church building, this little congregation had already planted two others. Representatives from both churches planted in the last two years were there to report on their progress. As if that weren’t enough, Pastor Fernando then told the congregation that they would now start making plans to support a church plant in neighboring Nicaragua.

I was humbled by the entire experience. I was in the midst of a people who out of their poverty were planting churches and reaching beyond themselves while work on their own church slowly progressed.

After church, we had lunch in town and then took off for a little fun. The whole team zip-lined from tree top to tree top. It was an exhilarating experience that we all greatly enjoyed. The final zip line took us across a big river. Wow.

That night, we closed out our time together with some sharing and final worship. We sat around a little circle and shared, 1) what we learned about someone else on the team; 2) what we learned about ourselves; and 3) what we learned about worship that would enrich our community life back home at University.

All told, it was an incredible time of learning for us all. We slept well that night and in the morning the team headed for home.

Sabado

2009-10-12T06:58:00.001-06:00

Saturday morning we rose early in the morning and after a quick breakfast set out for a dormant volcano. It was our first time leaving the city of San Jose. We didn’t have to go far outside the city to become surrounded by some of God’s most stunning handiwork. We climbed into the mountains until we topped the clouds. Looking down into the valleys shrouded by the low hanging clouds quieted us all.

We arrived on the top of the volcano excited to see what we could. I think we all paused a bit when Javier (our driver) backed into a parking space and explained why. Everyone is expected to back in to their spot . . . just in case. Yes, just in case the volcano begins to erupt. We were all so cold by that point that we reasoned that if it did go off, at least we would warm up a bit!

It was an incredible walk out to the crater. The clouds moved in all around us. You could barely see ten feet in any direction. Occasional clear patches would drift by and we would catch a glimpse of a barren lava field. We arrived at the rim of the crater and almost on cue the clouds gave way and we peered deep inside the mountain into a crystal blue pool. It was tranquil and stunning. Of course, the pool was a lie – hiding the fiery chaos underneath.

We retuned from the mountaintop into the city to see Costa Rica flags flying everywhere. The national team was playing Mexico in San Jose that night.

We led worship for a final time that night. The collective youth groups of San Jose had been invited for a worship celebration. We were led musically by two different local youth praise teams and our own team. Songs were sung in English, Spanish, and sometimes both at once. We danced before the Lord until sweat poured from us all.

My sermon that night was, “Stand Up.” Through Ray who interpreted for me that night, I exhorted the young people to stand up for Christ. I commissioned them to take the authority God had given them to build his Church and bring about a great spiritual awakening in their country. I concluded by inviting all the pastors to come down and pray with kids who were ready to lead. Again, hundreds came for prayer and renewal.

After the service, we joined with a team recently arrived from Alabama to watch both the soccer match – and the Alabama football game. Our team was wiped out and didn’t make it through the whole match, instead retiring to the seminary for the night.

Viernes

2009-10-09T09:06:00.000-06:00

Added to our schedule during the week, we began Friday with a service for the 600 plus kids in the elementary school. Mark and the team sang and led them in worship. The little ones worshiped as kids do – without restraint or worrying about “being cool.”

As those of you who know me, I like kids a lot. I really like them when they toddle and again when they enter adolescence. I mean, it’s not as if I dislike them in between those time, I just don’t have a lot of experience relating or speaking to elementary age kiddos. So, I was a little at a loss as to what I would do.

The Lord really saved me with a distant memory of the one other time I was in front of small children. I stood before them and without words turned them into my orchestra. I used a drumstick (thanks, Callen!) to lead them in clapping on cue. The kids were really funny. At the end, I just spoke a few words about allowing God to be the conductor of our lives. In the end, it worked out alright – though I can’t claim to have thought it up on my own. As a good preacher who is in over his head is want to do, I totally stole the idea from someone else!

Toward the end of our time with the little guys, it started to rain – and I mean it started to rain in absolute earnest. It was as if the Lord poured out all the water in the sea right over us. In our metal building the sound was a roar! This delayed the entrance of the high school students somewhat – and when they did enter they were pretty wet!

Nevertheless, it was our final time with these students we had come to love and we wanted to celebrate! Once again we had the whole high school together. Friday I spoke about, “Spreading the Revolution.” I explained that discipleship and following Jesus demands a response the grows the Kingdom. We are each called to witness to the power of God in our lives in our schools, home towns, nations, and around the world.

I concluded the message with a call to action. Each of the kids was given a post-it note to place on one of two giant maps of the world with a commitment to carry the Movement to that place. By the end of the response time, the maps were beautifully adorned with multicolored post-it notes indicating which student would be responsible for each corner of our globe. In addition, kids were invited to respond by signing up to be a student leader, responsible for leading the Movement at the school and/or respond to a call to pastoral ministry. Ray and I prayed with the kids called to ministry. It was powerful to see these gifted young men and women make a promise to serve the Church.

We finished up with some pictures and lots of hugs. We had a little time off that afternoon, then we went to Ray & Lydia’s home for dinner. It was amazing. If you are looking for the best meal available in Costa Rica, you will have to secure an invitation to the Zirkel’s home.

After dinner, we had a time of worship with the Zirkel’s and some of the missionary interns who had been with us throughout our time in country. Mark led as we sang and I shared some scripture. It was a holy and powerful time as several people sought a baptism of the Spirit and we all prayed over them. Our time concluded as we all spread out around the Zirkel home (inside and out) and blanketed the place in prayer.

We returned to the seminary for bed and to get ready for Saturday.

Jueves

2009-09-29T21:16:00.000-06:00

Exhaustion set in on Thursday. We were carted off to the school once again where we would see first the Jr. High, then the Sr. High. This time, it was a little later in the morning. I spoke Thursday about, “Enduring in the Revolution.” I shared God’s desire for his revolutionaries to remain steadfast and vigilant. The Movement requires people who are not set back by set back. There is little room for casual Christians who expect things to get easier when joining ranks with Jesus. So, I invited the kids to be baptized with the Holy Spirit that day. Once again, we spread ourselves out down front and invited any who were in need of the Spirit to come down. In addition, I told the kids to just wave one of us up if they needed prayer, but couldn’t/wouldn’t come down.

It was important to me on Wednesday that the kids come down front. There is something important about physically moving toward God. (I know, God is in the bleachers and pews too, that isn’t my point.) Given the skepticism we found in those first days at the school, I truly felt that it was the kids’ move to make. Thursday was different. I wanted those who were still struggling to know that God finds them right where they are – if only they are willing to be found. So, over the course of the morning, we prayed with hundreds of more kids who were seeking blessing, healing, anointing, wisdom, freedom, and life. We prayed down front and we prayed in the stands. We prayed with individuals, pairs, and groups.

At one point, I looked up to see around 40 kids in a tight circle. RT had begun praying with three kids which multiplied again and again. By the end, RT was spinning in a circle laying hands on the kids praying blessing down upon them. As he said, “Amen,” the kids broke into tears and shouts of joy all at once. A mighty cry went up before the Lord from that corner of the room – let me assure you.

After services were over, I met with a young man who would become a real friend. Jose came and with tears expressed his joy at what he had found during the course of the week. He told me he wasn’t sure about this on Monday, but thought it was a good presentation. He said by Wednesday he had been found by the Lord and cried, Abba Pappa. Jose said he thought we were angels from heaven for sure.

I thought about that a lot. The word angel and messenger are the same in Hebrew. The angels were messengers who brought word from God to his people in their time of need. They played a role in the revelation of the person of God. Though I am certain we came from Texas and not heaven (though it is easy to confuse the two), I think Jose was right in the end. This week in Costa Rica, God used our little team to be messengers of His Word for His children.

That night was friend and family night for the kids of the school. We had a large group there that night for worship. I preached one of my favorite sermons, “Outrageous Ridiculousness” with the translating help of my friend Luis Palomo. Once again, Luis did a great job following me around as I preached, sang, and danced! I pointed out that God is in the habit of doing outrageous things – most notably in the person of Jesus Christ.

Alison broke out in “Oh How He Loves” and I invited all who would be saved by God’s outrageous and ridiculous grace to come forward for prayer as our team came forward. Once again, hundreds poured out of the stands to give their life to Christ. We were amazed by the number of young children who came to follow in the footsteps of their older siblings.

As Thursday drew to a close, we were full of God’s Spirit, but completely poured out. It was with a thankful heart that we laid down that night.

Miercoles

2009-09-27T20:53:00.000-06:00

Wednesday had the earliest wake up calls for the week. The early breakfast time was exacerbated by my sleeplessness during the night. When I finally lay down the night before, I was troubled by cramps in my legs and an overall restlessness. I was painfully aware of how important Wednesday would be and was frustrated by my inability to rest. I knew from the start it was a feeble attempt to weaken me. Though my body did pay the price for the attack from Satan, my heart was in line with the Master and his strength was made perfect in my weakness.

We arrived at the school for an 8:00 a.m. start with the Jr. High kids. That morning I preached about: “How to join the Revolution.” I shared with them my experience in a Rwandan orphanage and the child who simply wanted to leave that place. I recounted him saying, “Go, Papa, Go.” I shared with the kids Paul’s assertion that by the Spirit of Christ within us we are the adopted children of the Most High God – and by that same Spirit we cry “Papa, Father.” In what I believe is the finest sermon I have ever been privileged to deliver, I shared the fundamental truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I concluded by inviting the kids to come forward if they want to accept Christ as their Savior and commit to following him as their Lord.

Before the service began, I had asked the team to prepare themselves to pray with the kids. I instructed them to simply come forward and spread out along the floor down front. After my invitation, the team came down and Mark began to sing. He (Mark) would later recount for us, “I was just praying that even one kid would come down. You know how people always say, even if it was just for that one.”

There was quite a pause after the sermon ended and the music began. I looked up to the kids sitting in the bleachers only once or twice. There was more than one child weeping already, but no one moved. Exhausted and poured out, I sat down on the floor. I knew they would come – I had seen their sweet faces while I shared Christ with them. I knew they were living in a spiritual orphanage and were desperate to cry Abba, Father.

Two girls finally rose together and made their way to Alison. They were the first to receive salvation that day, but not the last. They came as individuals and they came in groups. They surrounded every person standing down front waiting for them. Life began that morning for hundreds of young people as their hurt and sin poured out and grace proved triumphant. A group of ten kids would come and surround one of us and we would ask “how can we pray for you?” and a confused look would spread across their faces. Then we would ask, “who wants to receive salvation and make Jesus their Lord?” and ten hands would go up into the air. We would ask their name and one by one lead them in prayer. They confessed their sins and claimed the love of Christ as their very own.

It was the same with the older kids later that morning. I read Acts sometimes and wonder at the power of God’s Spirit to add thousands to his flock when Peter preaches the Gospel. In San Jose, I got a glimpse into what is otherwise words on a page as hundreds entered eternal life that morning.

As if that wasn’t enough for one day, we went back to the seminary where we led worship for the pastors during their chapel time. I spoke there about the enduring nature of God’s promise. Bishop Palomo rose after I spoke to bless the Communion meal. I had the benefit of Ray Zirkel translating the Bishop’s words. Once again, I found myself awed by the depth of this man’s understanding of the things of God. At one point, he prayed that God would bless our taking of the holy meal, “not because of our merits” and he paused, then said, “mostly because we don’t have any.” So simple, yet such an important truth.

Since I was the preacher, I was sitting in the front row and therefore one of the first to receive communion. I wasn’t sure of their practice, but given the events of the morning, I went to the front of the room and simply knelt on the floor. I intended to just stay in my crumpled position, but I hadn’t been their long when the Lord called me to my feet to pray for the other pastors positioned around me. I rose and prayed as instructed. Somehow, the Spirit moved through me as I prayed clearly and specifically for each pastor. For one I prayed direction in their new endeavor. For another I prayed for healing in his family. Again and again I prayed for the pastors kneeling and standing around me. I came to a young pastor standing with his arms raised. I put one hand over his heart and began to pray as the Lord led. After a few moments the Bishop was standing behind the man and motioned for me to bless him with a touch to his forehead.

In that moment, I breathed a prayer of peace over him and laid my hand on his head. He fell back into the Bishop’s waiting arms. The Bishop gently laid him on the ground and gave me a long look. Finally, he slowly nodded his head without breaking that penetrating stare. Not knowing what else to do, I sat down next to the pastor sprawled out on the floor. I covered his heart with my hand and rested. Sometime later he would slowly stir and rise up – the picture of a man who has laid in green pastures (Psalm 23) – and give me a warm smile and gentle hug.

While I was there on the floor, the Bishop called for those who needed to give testimony. Many shared, but one pastor in particular stood out for me. He said that he had recently planted two churches each of which was far from his home church. Through his tears, he said that he had been weary, but this week with the other pastors had strengthened him. Planted two churches each far from his home church. Oh, God, who am I and what am I doing?

That night we had a meaningful team meeting followed by a precious time of worship and prayer. As a group, we lifted up the names of the kids we had prayed with that day. Hearing each name was like a drop of rain in the desert.

We finished the night with a mean game of charades. It really was a riot, though Alison took the cake as both the best at the game and the most competitive. FYI: If you ever play with her, you definitely want her on your team!!!

Martes

2009-09-23T17:58:00.000-06:00

As the week went on, our nights got later and the mornings got progressively earlier. Tuesday was the beginning of a three day run of non-stop worship events. After breakfast, we loaded up and headed over to the school.

My topic for the day was, “Arming for the Revolution.” At one point, I looked up and saw Bishop Palomo seated high on the steps near the rafters. I thought, “What am I doing? Am I really in Central America preaching to a group of Latin kids to join a revolution? This is either going to be very good or I’m going to be in a small cell well south of the border.”

Our reception Tuesday was definitely warmer. A couple of things helped. First, the kids knew what was going on – Monday had been a mystery and now they had had a chance to process some. Second, I had the band fling themselves out amongst the students during the message. They were spread around the room with the task of praying over their area while I preached. Third, we had two services – one for the lower grades and one for the upper. The smaller numbers made things slightly more manageable. Nevertheless, we still weren’t sure which way they were going to break.

I spoke to the kids about preparation for God’s revolution – one not of flesh and blood, but for eternity itself. I encouraged them to take up the belt of Truth that is the Son of God, Jesus Christ. I reminded them that without a belt your pants are likely to fall off – a most embarrassing situation (though I was careful not to use the Spanish false-cognitive embarrassado – which means pregnant). God sends the Truth so that we are neither ashamed or embarrassed on the final day, rather we can stand in the confidence of our salvation.

Two services and some hang out time with the kids later we were back at our home resting and preparing for our evening service. I was surprised by God’s provision when my interpreter for the week walked into the house. It was Luis Palomo – the Bishop’s son and my classmate from Asbury Seminary! He was down visiting his father and working on a new ministry venture to financially boost the long term goals of the Costa Rican Methodist Church. Luis is a gifted preacher in his own right and I gave him permission to preach whatever sermon he wanted – regardless of what I was talking about! He assured me that he would say and do whatever I said and did. His words, “You jump, I jump.” That night, I put him to the test.

Tuesday night worship was held for the churches of San Jose. The Bishop had invited his people to come in for this special event – and come they did. I spoke that night about, “Living up to your name.” I started by telling them about my first experience with a certain Costa Rican cookie named, “Yippy.” I shared that in English, “Yippy!” is an expression of surprising joy. This is exactly what a Yippy is too. A wonderfully flavorful bar of joyous goodness. As I repeatedly shouted, “Yippy!” in my best falsetto voice, Luis followed right along. This phase became a word I heard throughout the rest of the trip. Young and old alike would speak the one word of English we shared – “Yippy!” It never failed to bring a smile to my face and theirs.

I exhorted the church to live into their name, Christian – to be the kind of church that causes others in their community to be surprised by joy. I shared the urgency of the work of the church to redeem their communities, their cities, their nations, and ultimately their world.

At the end of the sermon I took a cue from the Holy Spirit and deviated from our program. Though the Bishop was scheduled to have some words following my sermon (how to strike fear into the heart of a Methodist preacher: Tell him the Bishop will be addressing the group when you have finished). I begged the Bishop’s pardon and shared that I was feeling led to invite the people to pray over the room. I explained that we were engaged in a great spiritual work in this very space with 550 young people. I told them that in the morning I would be offering an invitation to know Jesus as Lord and Savior. I asked them to get up and pray over the seats and floor where the kids would be seated. I told them, I know you don’t know the name of the kid who will be sitting where you are, but God does. Pray for them.

After about 5 minutes of this prayer time, Bishop Palomo rose to take the mic. I thought that perhaps prayer time was over and it was time to go on with the program. Instead, he began to encourage the people. He declared freedom in the name of Jesus. He called down the blessing of God’s Holy Spirit. I’m not sure how else to say this to you, dear reader. He was invited and He came.

The prayers of the saints grew increasingly louder as intercession began in earnest. Bishop Palomo continued to speak blessings and words of power over the people and the place. Soon people were weeping and kneeling as they moved onto the spiritual battlefield and began to push back the darkness.

After some time – I don’t know if it was 10 minutes or an hour – the Bishop began calling for our team to come and kneel. As we did so, they people of the church prayed mighty blessings over us. The Bishop called for us to rise as he blessed and anointed us. With arms raised, I stood before this man of God as he spoke Spanish words of blessing over me – words whispered in my ear by my friend, Luis. At the end of the blessing, the Bishop blew into my face. I have never experienced this before and it was powerful. The wind of the Spirit, the ruah (breath) of God filled me. At once, both peace and power filled my limbs.

I won’t share the other members of our team’s experience as he blessed them – that is their story to tell. Needless to say, we were each equally blessed and humbled by the experience.
We left that night and went home to unwind. We talked very little about our experience during our team meeting that night. I think it was just too close and raw for words.

So, after a brief talk, we decided to play Catch Phrase (yep, there is an app for that!). By the end our sides were hurting from laughing so hard. Oh, did I mentioned we played where you had to give your clues in either an accent or sing them in an operatic voice? I highly recommend this form of play. It adds a whole new level of fun.

Lunes

2009-09-21T09:04:00.000-06:00

Monday we were introduced to three people who would be a major part of our week. At breakfast we met Javier. Javi drove us everywhere all week long. More than being a driver, he was a good friend and watched over us at all times. We enjoyed getting to know him over many meals and shared the physical humor of two people who are separated by language, but united in service. By the end of the week, he was a friend for life. When we arrived at the school for sound check, we met Winston and Raul. Winston was the head sound engineer and Raul was his assistant. These guys had brought in a truckload of electronic equipment. Ray Zirkel (our missionary host) said, “Well it really shows a strong commitment to the kids.” To which I replied, “Yeah, but they are going to think U2 is here!” Seriously, it was BIG and LOUD!

Our sound techs really knew their business. On Sunday during a sound check with the band, the sound board started billowing smoke. Never a good sign. They just opened it up, did some work and everything was back in business. Really it was like that all week. They hustled and worked like madmen for us and for the kids to have a great experience.

While the team did a sound check and began to get going, Vicki and I began to prayer walk the room. The kids were on these enormous concrete bleachers running the length of a large covered gym – where all our events save one took place. VP (Vicki) and I walked slowly over every row, praying for God’s hand to be on each young person in the room. It’s been a while since VP and I prayed the sanctuary together. It was a good reminder of those early days in University Praise before things really took off.

About 30 minutes before the service started, our team gathered together in an upper loft of the space for prayer. We try to do this before every service, but sometimes the technology works against us and the time gets shortened a bit. It was important time in prayer together as we settled into God’s sovereignty for what was about to happen.

Soon the kids came streaming into the building – all 550 high school kids (7-11 grade) and it was time to begin. My topic for the week was: Revolution: The Movement. On Monday, I spoke on, “What is the Revolution?” I started out by talking about the goodness of God’s creation – the plan and purpose with which all things were created. I discussed the intricacy of creation and the care with which God ordered all things. From examples in nature to the creation of the students of collegio metodista, God has a plan. Those plans have been frustrated for some time, though. Human sin has distorted God’s purposes. This will not be the case forever. Rather, God has a particular purpose for his earth and it shall come to pass – of this, you can be certain. God has begun a worldwide revolution to right what has gone wrong and bring perfection back into creation. I ended by challenging the kids to open their hearts to the notion that God has a bigger plan and purpose for their lives than to just exist. I suggested that just perhaps he has as many plans for their lives as he does for the birds of the air and flowers in the fields.

The kids laughed a lot and I think enjoyed themselves, but it was hard to know for sure. They were certainly restless throughout and talking amongst themselves. Honestly, I sensed a great deal of skepticism in the room about the whole service!

After it was over, we went up with the kids to lunch. They eat in the outdoor corridors, so we just hung out and each talked to a few students. I was encouraged by a number of the students who remarked, “I liked your presentation,” or “good speech in there.”

That night our team had our evening meeting to discuss the events of the day and find out what needs they had for Tuesday. We then moved into a time of worship which quickly became a night of intercession. Alison let rip with “Revelation Song” and we began to pray for hearts to be moved. As things were winding down, I found myself standing at the back door looking out into the city. Mark came over and put his arm around me. He quietly asked what I was thinking. I whispered, “The kids. They are like a restless herd. I can feel that they are going to break and run. There is going to be a stampede, I just can’t tell yet which way they will go. Either to the Lord or off a cliff.” Those were perilous moments.

Domingo

2009-09-19T16:55:00.000-06:00

After completing our two Sunday morning services, Mark and I were taken to the airport by Mark’s dad, Steve – thanks again! We moved through security and jumped on a plane headed first for Houston, then San Jose. We weren’t sure what our arrival would hold for us, so we ate in San Antonio . . . and Houston . . . and on the plane!

Flying South I was going over my notes for the week and making lists on airline napkins. I’m sure it was confidence inspiring to the people at the school who asked for some details on my sermons and I whipped out a doodled on Continental Airlines cocktail napkin.

When we had come for our scouting trip in May, Mark and I were totally lost. We exited into the San Jose night not knowing who was picking us up or even where we were staying. Ultimately our driver found us, but it was a tense few minutes. This time, we came through immigration without incident. We are now seasoned pros. We connected with our driver from our last trip, Luis and headed to the seminary to meet our team.

We arrived at the Methodist University/Seminary after dark. The team was inside waiting. We stayed in a great little place. It had a kitchen, living room, 4 bedrooms with bunks, and 2 bathrooms. As Mark and I looked around, the team started giving us instruction on staying in our home for the next week. 1) Don’t try to sleep in bedroom number 4 – the skylight in there lets in light starting around 4:30 a.m. 2) The electric water heater for the shower is on the showerhead itself. Be sure not to touch the exposed wires. The heat works better if the overhead light is off. 3) You can not flush toilet paper in San Jose. There is a trash can next to each toilet.

It was really quite charming, until they got to number 3 – or perhaps I should have numbered these differently . . .

After settling in and catching up, our team began to sing and pray a bit together. It was a good centering time for all of us as we sought to settle our nerves and prepare for the early morning that faced us.

Antes de

2009-09-16T09:38:00.000-06:00

Ray & Lydia Zirkel are graduates of Asbury Seminary. Their family has a deep and rich history in the Southwest Texas Conference of the United Methodist Church. They are one of many missionaries supported in part by the people of University. Fifteen years ago, they made their home in Costa Rica. From the very beginning they dreamed of making the Methodist School a place not only of the highest academic standards, but a place of spiritual transformation. Because of the quality of education received by the students, they go on to become the leaders of their nation – doctors, lawyers, civic leaders, etc.

About three years ago, Ray invited me to come down and speak at the Methodist School – to lead a “Spiritual Emphasis Week.” At the time, I was just beginning my work in Rwanda and was not able to take on additional international travel. Twice more Ray would ask me to come down, but it wasn’t until at this year’s Global Impact Celebration that things came together. Ray suggested that I come down this Fall and bring Mark and our worship team. The Spirit really stirred within me and I knew the time was right.

Mark and I ended up taking a quick scouting trip down in May – Ray thought it was really important for us to see the school and put our feet on the soil before bringing the whole team down. He was absolutely right. That 36 hour visit was pivotal for planning purposes.

As the summer wore on, everyone’s excitement grew – along with my own anxiety. I rarely get nervous anymore about speaking, but there is still something about international preaching that gives me butterflies. I was also acutely aware of how big the stakes were in what we were doing. Ray & Lydia had been praying for a decade and half for revival at the school. In truth, I really look up to this couple who have sacrificed so deeply for the sake of Christ’s mission. I didn’t want to let them down.

Mark and I sent the team down one day ahead of us. We wanted to give them a little extra time to adjust before leading worship on Monday. Sunday morning was hard for Mark and I as we mentally began to make the leap to the mission field while leading worship at home base! In my sermon, I mentioned that I was quite nervous, but going none the less. On their way out, a number of folks wished me well and told me not to worry – things would be great.

The last conversation I had was with a good friend who pulled me aside before I left. He said, “I just want to tell you something before you go – I know you said you are nervous.” I waited for him to say, “Don’t worry, it will be great.” He said, “As you were talking about the trip and being nervous, I really felt the Spirit of the Lord saying – ‘Eternity hangs in the balance.’”

Well. Oh. Alright then.

Those were true and right words. I carried them with me down South – even sharing them with the team. I held them as we waged spiritual war throughout the week. His words were true, eternity was in the balance.

Costa Rica Account: Stay Tuned

2009-09-14T10:10:00.004-06:00

I didn't have a chance to Blog while I was in Costa Rica. The truth is, the internet was sketchy at best, but even more importantly, I couldn't do it. I was being so wrung out each day for the sake of those God had placed before us, I didn't have anything left at the end of the day. If I had tried to explain or document it at the time, I would have ended each day in a weeping wet ball on the floor.

I have taken some time since to process much of what we saw - I doubt I will ever fully comprehend all the movement God wrought, but I have outlined the week and will now start writing it up. My goal is to post every other day or so until I am complete.

I want to thank all of you who followed along with the trip through the facebook video updates. In particular, I want to thank the sweet prayer warriors of University and beyond who stood under my arms and held me up as the battle raged for the hearts and minds of the students at the collegio metodista in San Jose. All glory for the week belongs to God, but I believe He is extremely pleased by your unyeilding support of His work through your worship team.

Our little team understood that we were nothing more than the tip of the spear. Your support and prayer provided the direction, strength, and power of the thrust made into enemy occupied territory. God's Kingdom went on the offensive and I could not be more thankful for your intercessory work. There is more light in the world today because of you.

Tales of the Movement

2009-07-27T09:26:00.002-06:00

People of the Movement, take a minute and record what you have seen God doing in your churches and communities in the comments section of this post.

We are working on a better forum for sharing what God is doing through you, but for now this will have to do. As I bounce around Facebook and Twitter, I see that there is a real stirring. Finding ways to see what is going on will really help push the Movement along.

Looking forward to seeing what you share.

We are a movement,

Ryan

Here Somewhere

2009-07-25T17:54:00.000-06:00

It’s all here somewhere

It’s all in here somewhere. Throughout the day, I occasionally feel a comment coming, but seem to lose it before I can get in front of the computer.

Last week we saw an incredible advance of the Kingdom. The Movement is stirring. The long awaited fruit of obedience is blooming. The Lord is frustrating the plans of those who stand against him. I certainly have had a plan or two wonderfully frustrated!

I spent the whole week in Kerrville with 250 Sr. High students. I was in a room of oil soaked teenager and couldn’t help but drop a match. Dozens made first time commitments to Christ, hundreds re-committed to following their Lord, and almost 70 stood to give their life to ministry. They placed pins in a map to show where they were committing to personally carry the Gospel witness.

The integrity of their commitment is already manifest as I have received numerous requests for names of missionary sending agencies and cries for funds to send the kids on their way. I think maybe we will need to add a component to the WWMM’s (Worldwide Methodist Movement) organization. A wing that does nothing but raise money and book travel for kids to go to the nations.

I am coiling myself in holy anticipation of the next steps. Much is clear, much remains in motion and somewhat blurry.

More to come.

Comment Here

2009-07-08T22:02:00.004-06:00

I would like to invite all of you who participated in the reading of Scripture to record your comments here. I think it will be an encouragement to each other and helpful to me as I work to discern God's plan and appeal for wisdom to follow hard after Christ. This is open to all who participated, by reading, hearing, praying - both for those near and far.

July 8, 248 pm

2009-07-08T14:15:00.001-06:00

Last night I was headed home for a quick shower. I walked out of the green room where I have been staying, turned around and grabbed my Bible. I smiled at Mark and said, “I need my shield.”

As I pulled into my garage and went to get out, I reached over and grabbed my Bible, again saying, “I need my shield.” Alone in my garage, God responded to my off-hand comment.

He said, “It is not a shield, it is a sword.”

I have been playing defense. The constant and blistering attack of the enemy had worn me out. I had a small window of ease this Spring, but as I got focused on preaching and attending to the ministry of the Word, the attack came again. Honestly, I have spent much time trying to build a bigger spiritual wall to hide behind.

No more. I have drawn my sword which is the very Word of God. Arise! men of God. Arise! women of faith. Lay claim to the nations. Draw your sword and pierce the heart of all men. Lay claim to the nations.

The Kingdom of God lies in wait before us. On behalf of our Lord, Jesus Christ to whom all glory is due, lay claim to the nations.

July 7, 1:58 pm

2009-07-07T13:23:00.001-06:00

Mid-morning, I rose to read. I finished the last chapters of 1 Chronicles. It is a powerful accounting of the faithfulness of David, King of Israel and man after God’s own heart. In those chapters, David makes a great offering for the work of the Lord. Not only does he place the resources of the nation into the building of the Temple, he empties his personal treasury – everything this rags-to-riches man has accumulated after a lifetime of unparallel success in military operations. At Solomon’s inauguration, 1000 bulls, 1000 rams, and a 1000 lambs are offered with other sacrifices “in abundance.” I was on my feet preaching with passion and power (to a room empty of all but two!).

A bit later, I had to go meet with some folks for about an hour. When I came back, there was a need for me to read again. I took over just in time to finish 2 Chronicles and start Ezra. In one chapter, I read the quick death of the nation and the pillaging of God’s Temple. After all that – all the laborious work of counting the people in Numbers to ensure a right distribution of land in Joshua. After all the birthing pains during the era of the Judges. After all the splendor and wealth of a nation being poured out for the Lord. After all that God had done and in spite of all their promises to the contrary, man just couldn’t stem the evil in his heart. He wouldn’t stop rejecting the God who established him.

So, God swept them away. As surely as he built them, he swept them away in disgrace.

I got choked up, but knew Ezra would send the people back to Jerusalem because of God’s great mercy. I started the first chapter of Ezra but could go no further. Between sobs I read the pitiful inventory of what returned with Ezra to Jerusalem. The rebuilt Temple was consecrated with 100 bulls, 200 rams, 400 lambs, and 12 goats.

Having been soaking in the Word from “the beginning,” I was living Ezra 3.12-13. “But many of the older priests and Levites and family heads, who had seen the former temple, wept aloud when they saw the foundation of this temple being laid, while many others shouted for joy. No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sounds of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away.”

Thy will be done . . .

2009-07-07T08:15:00.002-06:00

This is not about our reading here, but at the same time, it is. It was written by my friend, Denise - recording her experience last week at a Jr. High Camp that Rusty, Mark, and I were leading. She is a gifted author - you should probably seek out her blog. (Posted here with her permission!)

"I make known the end from the beginning,from ancient times, what is still to come.I say: My purpose will stand,and I will do all that I please." --Isaiah 46:10

Last week, I drove to Kerrville, TX in order to attend evening worship at the Mt. Wesley Retreat Center. Two hundred jr. high kids were attending Mt. Wesley for a week of fun, games, and the opportunity to explore their relationship with Jesus Christ.

I spent much of the 300 mile trip in communion with God. I worshiped the Holy One. I prayed for my loved ones. I prayed for what was going to take place that evening. People, near and dear to my heart, were in charge of leading the campers in the week's activities, teaching moments, and times of worship. My daughter and her friend had been invited to sing with the worship band that evening. All of this, I lifted up to the Father.

You might think after all that praying that I was done for the day.

But that was not so.

The leadership team and the worship band gathered before the kids arrived. They prayed with an urgency and a humility that only comes from those who are completely submitted to the will of the Father. Prayers for God's will, power, healing, strength, for the courage to answer God's call, and protection from the evil one, were spoken with fervency. It was obvious to me that the Lord intended to do a mighty work in the lives of those young campers. It was just as obvious that satan had much to lose and would do everything in his power to disrupt the evening's plans.

Later, as the kids poured into the worship center, I sat on a bench watching and waiting. I knew God intended me to be more than a spectator. It didn't take long before I recognized my assignment.

There were double doors leading into the room. Large and heavy, each time someone entered or exited the place they closed with a bang. On the surface, it may have seemed like no more than a minor distraction. But on a deeper level, it represented a subtle interruption of the worst kind...

{Bang}...and a split second later, a young mind loses their ability to focus and wonders again why they are there

{Bang}...and there is a disconnect between the heart beginning to be warmed and the praise words being sung

{Bang}...and the whisper of God's call that accompanies the pastor's message is lost

Without question, I walked to the doors in order to ease them closed each time someone passed through them. I felt conspicuous. Anyone coming in or out had to go around me. Even so, my discomfort was secondary to obeying God.

God had physically posted me at the door to do more than close it gently. He expected me to pray, with authority, over all that was happening inside, as well as that which was taking place outside.

I had my Bible with me and opened it to the Scripture lesson for the evening: Acts 1:1-11. For the remainder of the evening, my Bible remained opened to those pages.

These were the words I lifted high above my head in worship. These were the words I clung to when I boldly faced the doors and claimed, in Jesus' name, that the enemy had no authority, and had to leave the premises. These were the words I wept over when I could no longer stand up and found myself stretched out full length on the floor, weeping and shaking.

A part of me wanted to get up...I was in the way, someone was going to step on me, what if I was distracting someone? Another part of me was powerless to move. Twice, someone came and prayed over me. Overwhelmed, in God's presence, I could do nothing but remain on my face before Him.

Prompted by the Spirit, I began to pray. The prayer was simple but incredible...the same four words spoken over and over again. Thy Will Be Done. Each time I spoke them they took on new meaning.

Thy Will Be Done... and it was a plea that God move as He promised

Thy Will Be Done... and it was a surrender of my own selfish ways

Thy Will Be Done... and it was a declaration of faith in God Almighty

Thy Will Be Done... and it was a blanket of protection for those leading the way

Thy Will Be Done... and it was a stamp of authority against the darkness seeking to disrupt the holy awakening taking place in the hearts and minds of 200 precious souls

Thy Will Be Done... and I was in complete agreement with Him

Eventually, I was able to stand up again and resume my post. A young man (college age?) came up to me towards the end of the evening. He said that God wanted me to know that even though I was a small person I was a spiritual warrior. What I had done that evening, by guarding the doors, had made a difference.

His words blessed me but, not so much because I needed to hear them. I am at a place in my journey where I know that I was doing exactly what God wanted me to do. I felt God's approval and pleasure without a word being said.

No, the blessing came from the look on his face as he delivered the message to me. His expression was that of confusion and wonder.

Out of obedience to the Father's will,
he returned to a room he had already left and
spoke words he never intended to say
to a woman he had never seen before.

Out of obedience to the Father's will...

Abba,
May Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. In Jesus' name, Amen.

to access past reflections go to: biggodlittled.blogspot.com

July 6, 5:48 pm

2009-07-06T17:18:00.000-06:00

As I listen to the Word of God proclaimed, I am haunted by this verse: “It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables.” No, we are not to Acts yet (Acts 6.2), but it is running through my mind.

The word of God is so powerful. I feel like I am being soaked in it – saturated. I can feel the authority of the Spirit rising inside of me as I am renewed. You cannot believe how hard it is for me to observe this simple instruction. As a pastor, I get more thanks for waiting tables than sitting, meditating on the Word of God. Frankly, I feel like I’ve accomplished more when I go through a day of marking things off my checklist.

Yet, as I am confined here in this place, as the Scriptures are pouring out over me, I am overcome with the sure and certain knowledge that faithfulness requires greater attention to the word and will of God. I must be engaged in a great work – refuse to become mired.

Waiting on the table is an important ministry – it is absolutely vital! But it’s not my ministry. If I wait on the table, who is attending the ministry of the word? Worse, I am robbing another of their opportunity to exercise their gifts for building the Kingdom of God.

Those early leaders of the church chose seven men who were full of the Spirit and wisdom to attend to the needs of the community. Because of it, “the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly.” I am painfully aware of my ability to shrink ministry to the size I can manage on my own strength.

To be faithful to God, I must learn to say no to men. Or better yet, turn responsibility for carrying out the ministry of the table to others. My job then, is to “give my attention to prayer and the ministry of the word.” It comes down to this, do I believe that prayer is more powerful than taking another meeting? Do I believe that giving study and attention to the word has a greater Kingdom impact than answering emails? If you check the words of my lips, then the answer to these questions is, YES! But if you looked on my calendar, or followed me around for a week, I’m not sure my life would agree.

July 6, 12:49 p.m.

2009-07-06T12:08:00.000-06:00

It is hard to explain the power that is available here. The men and I are experiencing the palpable presence of God among us. The cloud of presence is growing thicker. Those who have come plan to come back again. It seems to work best when there are a number of men here who can cycle through the reader position a few times.

As I read earlier from Exodus, I was so powerfully struck by the encounter between Moses and Yahweh. Honestly I didn’t know if I could finish reading. Consider: “The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend.” Ex 33.11 And, “Then Moses said to him, ‘If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people of the face of the earth?’ And the Lord said to Moses, ‘I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.’ Then Moses said, ‘Now show me your glory.’” Ex 33.15-18.

Is the presence of God in my life the defining characteristic of who I am? Are we a people distinguished from all other people on the face of the earth because of our relationship with Jesus Christ?

July 6, 8:38 am

2009-07-06T07:49:00.000-06:00

I am so encouraged. So far, each time a few men leave, a few more drift in. One man told me that God woke him and sent him up. What else can you do if God tells you something?, he said.

It seems to me that this is an important work of the Lord that is going on here. There is so much power in the Word of God. John wrote that the Word became Flesh and dwelt among us. In a very real way, as we proclaim the Scriptures, Christ is made manifest here in our sanctuary. What a joy to be co-located with the very presence of our God.

A few women have come in to pray and support us as well. I know there are a great many more who are lifting us in prayer. I know that the women of the church so desire our men to carry an ever increasing burden for living sacrificially, praying continually, and rooting ourselves in the Word. Thank you, Lord for the women who too often stand in the gap alone for the church, their families, and their communities. May we be men who lead with grace and love in all that we do.

July 6, 6:51 a.m.

2009-07-06T05:55:00.001-06:00

A while back, the Lord gave me a vision for spending 30 days in prayer. I invited a hundred men to join me. We began our 30 days this morning at 6 a.m. We are beginning by reading the Bible from cover to cover in our North Sanctuary. I expect that we will finish sometime mid-morning on Thursday. Right now I am encouraged as a steady stream of men have come in to participate.

I really struggled with how to organize this reading, but ultimately received this instruction from the Lord to give the men, “Just tell them to come when I wake them in the night. To come when I move them at work. The worst thing that will happen is that you will end up reading a lot of my Word, Ryan.”

Intervention Questions

2009-01-10T11:33:00.002-06:00

I know I have been too long in updating this blog - as a result there may be no readers left to see this post. At any rate, I will be blogging over the next month, but on a different site. We are currently engaged in a sermon series called: "Intervention." During the service, we get text messages from the congregation that we are answering during worship. However, we can't get to all of them, so we finish up on line. Pastor Leslie and I will be responding there throughout the month. Hopefully, this renewed discipline will translate to my personal blog and I will resume here in February.

The Intervention blog is found at blog.uchurch.tv for those who are interested.

Barthelona (Barcelona)

2008-11-09T07:54:00.001-06:00

Rob and I are in Barcelona. We are at a hotel that sits on top of the Metro station so getting around should be easy, even if sleeping is not . . .

Once again, time is of the essence because they charge by the minute around here for internet! We´ll be in Barcelona until Tuesday, then we´ll head for Madrid and finally back home on Thursday. I probably won´t be online again until Madrid, but you never know!

On the Med

2008-11-08T16:49:00.002-06:00

Rob and I are alive and well and near the Med. We are about an hour south of Barthelona (Barcelona). We had a great time in Sevilla and Gibralter. That's right we threw in a trip to the British rock. Inside a cave on the Rock of Gibralter, I ran into Suzanne, a member of my church. Small world! We will be in Barcelona for a few days. Wish I could say more, but time is money when you are buying time on the internet! Thinking of all my friends and family as we see the wonders of Espana!

Safe in Seville

2008-11-05T16:28:00.002-06:00

Well, Roberto and I made it safely into Spain this morning. We left Madrid right away deciding to end our time there since we will be flying out of there next week. We made our way down to Saville in the south of Spain and had a great day walking around and brushing up on our Spanish. We will be here for a couple of days at least, then I strongly suspect we will make our way to the coast at Gibralter, then track the coast over to Barcelona. So far, lots of laughs and lots of being lost, then found, then lost, then found! I´ll try to touch base in a few days, but it may be until we get into Barcelona early next week before I have another chance. Love to my sweet family!

Miles

2008-10-17T11:39:00.001-06:00

Like most college students, I got a credit card shortly after arriving in college. I have used the card ever since. Earlier this year, it came to my attention that this particular card allowed me to accumulate airline miles. Unbeknownst to me, I became part of the frequent flier program and every flight and every purchase I have made contributed to my miles account. Low and behold these many years later, I have accumulated quite a pile. I called the airline to see how this whole things works.

When I was in high school Spanish class, we used to watch these Spanish soap operas called, “Destinos” to help with our education. Although I couldn’t understand much of what was said, I was really taken with Spain! My dream to see the country has never left me.

By now you should see where this is going . . .

During my annual vacation this year, my good friend from seminary and I are going to Spain courtesy of American airlines! I am so excited! We don’t know where we will go or stay. We don’t have a plan or agenda. With just a few bucks in our pocket and our backpacks strapped on, we are off on an adventure.

Psalm 8

2008-09-28T09:23:00.007-06:00

Saturday morning, I woke up, went to Walmart and picked up the new Coldplay cd. I loaded it into the disc player and headed out.

How do you explain sorrow or define exhilaration. Endless words can be used, but in the end only an experience of the emotions will lend understanding. I will use the best words I have, but even as I write, I know they will be insufficient to describe the sights, sounds, thoughts, and feelings I experienced.

The hillsides are a riot of color. Green, orange, yellow, and red explode like fireworks all around. The blue sky yields to lazy clouds that become heavy with moisture. A single cloud fills and falls to the earth. Like dark angry fingers, the cloud unfolds visibly dropping its rain precisely in one spot.

Huge rock croppings push upward from the earth, laughing at gravity’s pull. They stand like sentries forever guarding the ancient secrets that propelled them up out of the ground. With each bend in the road, I have to will myself to breath so stunned am I by the beauty of what I am seeing. Words like: spectacular, incredible, indescribable all come to mind. I am thrilled to be alive.

Suddenly I am in the southwest. I know I didn’t sleep, but with the blink of an eye it is as if I have woken up in a different place. The soil has become red and the aspens have been replaced with low standing cedars who seem crouched against the ground, prepared for an onslaught of wind and snow. I turn off onto an unpaved road that will consume the next 35 miles of my trek.

Just as quickly as it came, the red rock of the desert west is gone. Instead the hills are littered with the black rock of magma spit forth from generations gone by. Entering into the canyon, I find myself paralleling the Colorado River. The river is in a hurry, anxious to reach its destination before the snow and ice slow its progress. In wonder, I examine the walls of this place and consider the painful work the river has completed to burrow itself so deeply into this place.

As I continue on my journey, the scene shifts again and again. The immeasurable display of God’s creativity stuns me mile by mile. In literally thousands of spots along the way, I could have simply stopped and spent the rest of the day doing nothing more than contemplating the colors, the rocks, the ravines, the river, . . .

Like the swiftly changing scenery, I find my mood has changed. Imperceptibly, I have gone from exhilaration to sorrow. I am a spectator to forces and power that are beyond my imagination, much less my control. My insignificance is being illustrated out of every window. I am hemmed in by credible evidence that my movement through the canyon means nothing to the mountain, to the river, or to the sky.

In the face of all this, I ask the Lord, “And who am I that you are mindful of me?”

As soon as I arrived in Aspen, I found myself standing outside of a little church whose Mass was about to begin. I went in and sat in the back as the Father preached: “Get over it, it’s not about you, it’s about Jesus.”

Weekend

2008-09-27T08:04:00.005-06:00

Well, it’s the weekend. Although this is a “working weekend,” I have decided to set off for some time alone. I left Estes Park today and traveled over the Fall River Road to the western side of the park. It was slow going on the dirt road (that is closed in the winter – which begins sometime in the next week or two up here!). To say that it was beautiful is an understatement. In addition to the always present evidence of God’s imagination, the road was also a not too subtle reminder of my mortality. To say the road is slightly treacherous is to say that sticking your finger in the light socket is mildly stimulating.

I did manage to get out and hike around a bit in the upper areas of the park. It felt good to stretch my legs and I even managed to walk through little pockets of snow. For my non-Texas friends, that’s a big deal. The closest we get to snow in September is a blizzard from the DQ.

I stopped for lunch in Granby a place where Lee Brookman and I once took a helicopter ride during our summer of fun following high school graduation. The sign advertised a number of dinning options including German, American, and Mexican. Inside I found a husband and wife team whose thick German accent led me to a Brat, Sauerkraut, and some potatoes. Over a great lunch I opened up my map to select my final destination for the day.

A beautiful drive ensued and I found myself in Steamboat Springs. I found a quite place to stay that met all of my requirements: a balcony with a view, internet access, and CNN on which to watch the debate. I spent a great night with one eye on the debate and one eye watching a gorgeous sunset. I’m off now for another day of sight seeing and sermon writing. I think I’ll head south and look for a good place to watch the trees and work on plans for next year’s sermon calendar. Along the way, church, know that I am praying for you and miss you a lot.

I quit. No, I don't. Yes, I do. No, I don't.

2008-09-25T20:38:00.005-06:00

I decided this morning to go on a little hike. I set out from the cabin and headed up the “hill.” Just a little one mile jaunt to get the blood pumping. One mile above the cabin is a sign that offers you two different hikes. One is 2.5 miles, the other 2.2 miles. I looked at the sun, considered the photo quality for going each of the two directions and set off for the 2.5 mile hike.

I was headed to Deer Mountain Summit. The first part of the trip was great. I was laughing, taking pictures, and generally amusing myself as I went along. I was hiking down a ridgeline for a while with spectacular views to both my left and right. Here’s one of my self portraits – the rest are on facebook.

About an hour and half into my hike, I started thinking that I was never going to make the summit. I had set a two hour limit for the outbound leg of the journey, not wanting to hike for more than four hours. This was the point where the trail really began to ascend. I was on a series of cutbacks that were leading steadily upward.

With fifteen minutes left on my two hour deadline, I started really praying. I was thinking how great a sermon illustration this would make. You know, I was tired – at the end of my strength, wanting to quit and turn around, but no I pressed on and look how great it all turned out. Each step I took was starting to be painful. I was experiencing “jelly legs.” That’s the technical climbing term, I think.

As the two hour deadline came and went, I was starting to resign myself to having to turn back before reaching the summit. I couldn’t tell if I was close or not. I was really wishing that there would just be some sort of sign – something to let me know I was still on the right track – and preferably that I was almost there! I started looking around for a place to lay down. I figured I should rest for a little bit and then start back down the mountain. As I kept going forward, I began to think this might turn out to be an entirely different kind of sermon illustration.

I was becoming genuinely concerned that the moral of this hike when told on Sunday would not be about perseverance and trust, rather about vanity and pride. Twice I quit and turned around. I never took a single step, but spun the rest of the way around and kept going. Once, I think I even spoke out loud, “I quit.” “No, not yet.” The really disturbing part about all this was knowing that as tired as I was, as weak as my legs felt, as low as my water was running – I was only halfway through the hike. Every step forward at that point was worth two steps because of the return.

I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t seen the sign. Maybe I would have gone on indefinitely. Maybe I would have turned around pretty soon. I know that I should have turned back well earlier. So, at the summit (and halfway point), I had hiked about 3 miles and ascended right at 2000 feet (from 8200 to 10200 feet)!

Still, the summit was spectacular and after spending forty five minutes up top, the two and half hours back down the mountain just breezed by . . .

In Estes Park

2008-09-24T15:03:00.003-06:00

I haven't written on the old blog for quite a while. The truth is, I have been in my bunker - hunkering down and weathering storm after storm and I just didn't feel like sharing.

After not even 24 hours away, I find myself emerging once again. It is truly lovely here in Estes Park, Colorado. I am here on my annual sermon preparation retreat. By the time I come home, I will have every sermon title and scripture selected for the entire 2009 calendar year. Along the way, I fully expect to be inspired by God's creation (and have a little fun!).

Oh faithful (and neglected) blog readers, have cheer. I am on line again and will keep you posted on my latest adventure.

a mirror, not a window

2008-08-13T09:44:00.001-06:00

How often I read the scriptures as though they were a window. I am reading along looking for insight into the world and people around me. Now, I’m not suggesting that the Word of God doesn’t give us insight into the world and people around us. It certainly does. The mind of God sees all things, all people, all of time as though at once.

Nevertheless, the scriptures are always first to be a mirror into our own hearts. The Word of God is a sword that pierces the heart and deflates human ego. I confess in my own mind, I often as not see the sword as I would hope it pierces the other – rather than as I would hope it pierces me.

In my daily reading on August 8, I read: 1 Corinthians 4.5: “Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.”

I first read this passage as though it were a window, not a mirror. “Yes,” I thought, “God is going to expose the motives of people and reveal the secrets of their shadowy hearts!”

I then realized that this was a mirror, not a window. “Uh, oh,” I thought, “God is going to expose my motives and reveal the secrets of my shadowy heart!”

A disturbing thought to be sure. As I processed this word of truth, I became thankful for two things. 1) Jesus Christ has died for the shadows in my heart. The light he shines into my soul isn’t to convict me of sin, but to free me from it. I should fear staying in darkness where death is my only reward. Though painful, the exposing light of Christ ultimately frees me for life eternal. 2) I can trust God. I can trust him to shine light into my life and reveal the intent of my heart. I can trust him to judge me at the appointed time for when payment comes due, I will find it has already been paid. When the sentence on my soul for my sin is delivered, I will find it has already been served.

new thoughts for me

2008-08-11T10:28:00.000-06:00

I am the chair of the Conference Council on Youth Ministry – arguably the most fun conference council in South Texas! It is populated by students and adults who love young people and who work tirelessly to bring the Gospel of Christ to teens. I spent the last couple of days with my council in Marble Falls. We played together, worshiped, and did our annual planning.

During our morning worship, we were singing our praise to God. I was looking around the room at all the sweet faces of youth and adults who had just spent four exhausting weeks leading summer camps for all the kids in Southwest Texas. They had given of themselves to serve the Lord. We were in a spectacular spot on Lake LBJ. The sun was streaming in, the open water all around us, and the communion elements were on the table.

We had to improvise a little bit with the bread and juice. Somehow we had forgotten the elements. So, we found a grape Capri-sun – though it must have been white grape since the liquid looked more like apple juice. For the bread, we had a plain bagel.

The singing came to a close and painfully I shared what was on my heart:

We are here in a beautiful place and you are all such beautiful people. We are of one mind and one accord. The unity of the Spirit is among us. Our worship of God is easy in this place – and it should be. And it is real. But, it is not the only place we are called to serve. In truth, much of our work and worship is to be done in the sewers of the human spirit. And that is being generous. Most of the world – often even the church exists in the selfish sewer of human depravity. We spew filth on ourselves, on each other, on our God, and on his servants.

Worship and service to God is more often not in a place of beauty, but instead in a place of desolation and waste. Jesus didn’t come to save pretty people, he came to save those in the sewers. Jesus offered more than words – I confess that I often only offer words. Jesus told us the greatest love is the love that lays down his life for his friends, then he called us friends. More than just offering words, Jesus laid down his life for all people. By his sacrifice he made us – he made me – who are enemies of God by our sin – his friends. He mopped up our sewer stained lives and made us gleam as though brilliantly white.

Our faith is messy. Consider that the great symbol, the great memorial, the great mystery that binds us together with God comes in the form of a broken body and shed blood. Blood that pours from hands and head and side is the enabling agent of a new covenant of peace.

In my daily scripture readings this week, I read the following and was mightily convicted. I know I don’t live this as I should, but pray God I am learning and growing in it.

1 Corinthians 4:11-13: (Paul describing the apostles) “To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world.”

And 1 Corinthians 4.20: “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power.”

State of the U

2008-08-04T09:11:00.001-06:00

The following was originally published in the most recent edition of The Encourager, the monthly magazine of the U. The uzine may be found on line at: http://news.uchurch.tv/Encourager/2008-08-August.pdf.

Another new school year is quickly approaching. Children will be entering new classes, new grade levels, and new schools. Families will say goodbye to the madness of summer and prepare to settle into a more normal routine. As the page is turned on another summer and we head headlong into the fall, I am preparing to deliver a “State of the U” address in our contemporary worship services. Coming hard on the heels of a seven week study on the book of Ecclesiastes and serving as a transition into our church-wide “University for Life” sermon series, I will seek to celebrate some of the past year’s accomplishments, examine some of the work yet undone, and share some prayerful hopes about our years ahead.

In an effort to prepare for this address, I asked our ministry leaders to share with me some of the things they celebrate about the past year. I was overwhelmed by the response. There has been so much in the last year for which to be thankful. God has truly and richly blessed our church. At the end of his Gospel, John said that there is simply no way to record everything Jesus said and did in his lifetime – there wouldn’t be enough parchment to contain it all. As I compile a list of celebrations, I completely understand! There has been simply too many wonderful Christ moment to record them all, but by way of previewing my pending State of the U address, I offer these celebrations.

In Sanctuary Music:

The Chancel Choir was invited to sing at Carnegie Hall in March of 2008 and will be taking 48 members of the group to perform.

Over 1,100 people attended the Christmas 2007 community outreach concert

Music Camp had 98 campers!

In usk8:

The kick off event led to 55 people accepting Christ as their Lord and Savior!

In the first 12 weeks of the ministry, the Gospel has been preached to 204 different skaters
6 people have been given their first Bible.

In Food Ministry:

A program was launched that has recycled 12,000 plastic bottles in the last six months.

In Foundation:

Over $18,000 in Scholarships Awarded – four college scholarships and two music scholarships

Over 200 people participated in Stewardship Development Events (Good $ense, Debt Reduction workshops, Financial Peace University, Putting Your House in Order Seminars)

In Magdalena House:

Successfully opened the U’s Woman's and Children's shelter – a home for domestic violence and human trafficking victims

In Outreach:

126 people joined the church through Pastor’s Welcoming Luncheons.

Non-University children were bussed from local apartment complexes to participate in Vacation Bible School.

Ongoing mission work on the Gulf Coast (Disaster Recovery Trips for Hurricane Rita), on the border, in Uspantan, Camanchaj, Antigua, Rwanda, Memphis, Corpus Christi, Under the Bridge, and places around the city.

Held three “Amigo Dinners”

Provided leadership and team members for Epiphany #3 and #4

Angel Tree –bought presents for 50+ families .

Hosted the Blue Sunday & Teen Conference

Provided Samaritan assistance for over 300 people (rental assistances, gas, CPS, and/or food).

I would invite all of our contemporary worshipers to make plans to attend services on August 17 to hear the complete State of the U address.

Men vs. Wild

2008-07-19T11:40:00.001-06:00

I took yesterday afternoon off and met my friend from Austin, A.J. up at the Guadalupe River for a little fun in the sun. We swam in the river, basked in the sun, and generally had a good time talking theology and catching up on life.

It was nearing twilight when we saw a snake making its way from the opposite bank over towards our spot – just a little downstream from us. We did the only thing a guy can do in such a situation – we started chuckin’ rocks. Well, the snake turned around, swam back across the river and holed up in its lair. Being the manly men that we are, we declared our victory and (after the slightest pause . . . ahem) jumped into the water to claim our domain.

While we were swimming, we noticed the serpent again making its way from the opposite bank towards our camp. The tribal man in us sprung into action. In a flurry of activity we emerged from the water, scooped up rocks and sticks and headed for battle. As the viper beached himself we threw a warning shot into the river behind him – hoping to block his escape. He wasn’t planning on going anywhere. It was on.

As I hurled my first projectile, he coiled, began shaking his tale and unhinged his jaw giving us a good view of his fangs set against the white background of his mouth. His sudden movement caused my first shot to be a miss and he shot up the bank after me.

AJ was just behind me and now the snake was between us. He swung hard with a large stick which shattered against the rock just missing the snake. Unfortunately, drift wood isn’t all that sturdy! Nevertheless, AJ’s shot caused the snake to turn and head back for the water. He had had enough of us.

Little did he know that I am a student of King David. I threw the rock in my left hand and watched it momentarily sink the snake now a few feet from the shore. Even while the first was in flight, I transferred the much larger projectile from my left to right hand and let fly. I got him square on the head. Whether he was stunned or dead at that point, I don’t know. Just to be sure, we pulled him out of the water and finished him off, again. And, again.

This morning, I decided to do a little research on our snake and here is what I read.

Water Moccasin:

When sufficiently stressed, this species engages in a characteristic threat display that includes vibrating its tail and throwing its head back with its mouth open to display the startling white interior, while the neck and front part of the body are pulled into an S-shape. Many of its common names, including "Cottonmouth" and "gapper", refer to this behavior, while its habit of snapping its jaws shut when anything touches its mouth has earned it the name "trap-jaw" in some areas.

At night, they are at their most active, when they are usually found swimming or crawling. Contrary to popular belief, they are capable of biting while underwater.

Symptoms commonly include ecchymosis and swelling. The pain is generally more severe than bites from the copperhead, but less so than those from rattlesnakes. The formation of vesicles and bullae is less common than with rattlesnake bites, although necrosis can occur. Myokymia is sometimes reported. On the other hand, the U.S. Navy (1991) states that the venom has strong proteolytic activity that can lead to severe tissue destruction.

Yikes. Happy tubing campers . . .

PS: Just so I don’t hear from PETA or the like, remember:

Genesis 3:14-15:
“14 So the LORD God said to the serpent,
"Because you have done this, "Cursed are you above all the livestock
and all the wild animals! You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust all the days of your life.

15 And I will put enmity between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and hers;
he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel."

Bishop Mike Lowry

2008-07-18T08:53:00.002-06:00

On the 11th ballot, Rev. Dr. J. Michael Lowry is elected a Bishop of the United Methodist Church. When you next see him, he is no longer Pastor Mike, but Bishop Lowry. What a great moment for the United Methodist Church. Congrats my dear friend.

pray, pray

2008-07-17T07:42:00.001-06:00

The first ballot of the South Central Jurisdiction is now taking place. One of University’s own members, Mark Nerio is a delegate at the conference as is one of my young padawan’s, Walt Lengel (a great guy I have known since he was in 6th grade and who is now a sophomore at Texas and the youth intern at Pflugerville UMC!) This conference in Dallas will elect the new Bishops who will serve in the Texas, Louisiana, New Mexico, Kansas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Nebraska Episcopal areas of the United Methodist Church. My good friend and former boss, Rev. Dr. Mike Lowry is a candidate for Bishop this year. I sincerely believe that God has called him to this work and am praying for the wisdom of the holy conference. Beyond Mike’s election, I am watching the happenings with interest as the only Bishop I have ever served under, Bishop Joel Martinez will be retiring in August. We will be assigned a new Bishop by the Jurisdictional Conference later this week. Obviously, when you work in an appointive system who your Bishop is makes a big difference in your life! So, I invite you to join me in praying for this conference – for Mike, for Mark, for Walt, and for a Bishop to be named later!

If you want to follow the elections, a good site for watching ballot summaries is at: http://www.umc.org/site/c.lwL4KnN1LtH/b.4340133/k.97F/Episcopal_Elections_Ballot_Results_Summary.htm

We are in the SCJ (South Central Jurisdiction).

ice

2008-07-11T21:30:00.002-06:00

So, in a recent sermon I was talking about man's stewardship of the earth - that while God has certainly given us dominion, we must move beyond domination and possession towards true stewardship. I made mention that one can't help but wonder if we aren't seeing evidence of our need to do better with all the wild natural events occuring around us. At that time, I noted that scientists predict that all the ice may well melt off the North Pole by the end of this summer. I have had a number of people ask me about this particular piece of information. I promise, though I make many things up - mostly about my prowess at sports - this was not one of them. If you are interested you can read the article on cnn.com. It is posted at http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/weather/06/27/north.pole.melting/index.html?iref=newssearch

The data comes from the National Snow & Ice Data Center - their website is at www.nsidc.org.

busy

2008-07-11T10:11:00.001-06:00

Busy barely covers what I have been over the last several weeks. If I was a car, I’d be in high gear! Life around the church has been great – very rewarding. Strangely, I have really enjoyed doing the work of the Operations Pastor. Though it is a lot of extra work, there is something great about doing a job that produces immediate results. A lot of my duties for my job produce results that are difficult to measure. Much of my work is about a journey, a process. When I do the operations work though, there is a product at which to point. When I write a Building Usage and Fee Schedule – it is done, ready for consideration by the Trustees. When a room is renovated, you can watch the progress until it is finally complete. Though it has really added a number hours to my week – and unfortunately taken me away from some areas in my own ministry that need additional attention – overall, it has been very rewarding.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be more than ready to turn all these additional responsibilities over, but I am grateful that God is allowing me to learn new skills during this season of our church’s life.

On top of all these things, I have been on the go quite a bit. I attended a clergy retreat, took a much needed week of vacation, was ordained at Annual Conference in Corpus, went on a mission trip to Rwanda, preached at a Jr. High Youth Camp in Kerrville, and led the Saturday night Girls Chrysalis service – all in the last six weeks! In fact, in a 7 day stretch I preached 10 times!

It has been good to get back into the groove this week. There’s nothing like a busy schedule to remind you of how good normal can be! Traveling and preaching is something I never want to give up, if for no other reason than it reminds me that there really is no place like home. When I am able to get even just a little outside of my own environment I gain valuable perspective and find my ability for ministry greatly enhanced.

JAM 2008

2008-07-06T15:17:00.001-06:00

So I spent part of last week preaching out in Kerrville at a Southwest Texas Conference summer camp. It was a camp for Methodist Jr. High youth – sponsored by our Conference Council on Youth Ministry and led by my good friend, the Rev. Dr. Rusty Freeman! The camp runs from Sunday evening to lunch on Thursday. For the first time, two of the kids at camp came from the U! (They and their parents wanted to experience “those camps Ryan & Mark are always talking about!)

Overall the camp was a great success. Swayze was leading the music – bringing our buddy Kyle Brown out to play guitar along with some of his traveling musicians. One of our favorite pastimes up at camp is to play with our Nerf dart guns. We have those sticky dart guns that you can make shoot long distances with a little rubber band modification! This year, we didn’t have a lot of time for that as we played pretty hard with the kids. Lots of ultimate Frisbee and underwater freeze tag wiped this guy out!

Every morning at camp includes morning devotions, alone time with God, small groups, and family learning rooms. The afternoon is given to recreation with a large group activity after dinner. At night we worship.

You might not believe me, but 9 out of 10 kids would tell you that worship is their absolute favorite part of camp – and the reason they come. They have discovered that nothing compares to finding yourself in the resurrected presence of Jesus Christ – and they love it. To be honest, so do I. It’s the reason Mark & I go back year after year.

Every year we are amazed by the activity of God in young people’s lives – and this year was no exception. This year, 19 kids gave their life to Christ; 31 rededicated their lives to him; and 43 professed a calling to full time ministry.

Let me say that again, 43 Jr. High students professed a calling to full time ministry. God is raising these young leaders up just in time too. In Methodism, the average age of someone who is being ordained is somewhere around 55. Books are being written about the church’s coming crisis (now being realized) regarding the lack of first career clergy. Yet, part of the solution must be putting examples out in front of our young people. It must include a deliberate encouragement from the pastor and the congregation. We must tell our young people that there is nothing better that they could do with their lives than give it in service and ministry to their God.

I noted with joy that one of the young men who believes himself called to ministry mentioned my former intern and now Corpus Christi Associate Pastor, Mark Montgomery. Having been there less than a month, his very presence – his earnest desire to serve God has shown a young man in his congregation that ministry is a real option for him.

May God add an increase to this young generation who is ready to stand and serve their God.

The rain that falls

2008-06-22T17:54:00.000-06:00

The rain that falls, may it fall again. So the saying goes in Rwanda. In Texas it might be: Yall come back now, ya hear? Right now I am sitting on the last airplane I want to even see for a long time. I have been on the go for 27 hours and have another 2 before I get into San Antonio.

As you can imagine, I am more than a little bit tired and raw. You will excuse me if I lose a little grammar and/or flow. To be sure, I am not even certain I have a purpose in composing this post.

I was just looking at my pictures from the trip. Once again, I got far too few. I always regret not having taken more while I was there, but when I am in the moment the last thing I want to do is remove myself from living that second by retreating behind my camera.

This trip was tough. By far, the toughest experience for me yet. Obviously the most disappointing part is not having the rest of the team make it over. That really crushed my spirits. I was so looking forward to having everyone. Because Van & Debbie didn’t make it, I am still without significant ability show you the incredible story of redemption playing out in that small nation. Add to that I got really quite sick for a couple of days. I also was with some good, but human people struggling to be Godly everyday – sometimes succeeding, sometimes not. There were points this year when I wondered if this would be my last trip to Rwanda for a while. I don’t know what the future holds, but God is good and before I flew out of Kigali I knew I would never leave Africa, not really.

After my first trip to Rwanda, I distinctly remember telling people that the nation reminded me of a newborn fawn trying to find her legs. You watch with anticipation knowing that it is equally likely that the newborn will collapse as gain its balance. In just a few short years, Rwanda has found her legs. They are building bridges – not just over rivers, but between their past and their future. This is a country who faces new national challenges every day. Filling one need inevitably reveals two unexpected new ones. Yet, this little nation sits as an example of what is possible to its neighbors: Kenya, Congo, Uganda, Chad, etc. (to say nothing of Zimbabwe).

Real change takes commitment. It takes good people willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of others. It means expecting Christ and His Church to be leaders in shaping the future of the country. (I don’t mean participating in politics really. I mean actually being the center of community life and everything that entails.) It takes men like Nathan Amooti sharing his laughter when it’s a choice between that and crying. It takes women like Jan organizing widows and leading the way toward reconciliation. It takes saints like Emmanuel Kolini exerting his own personal holiness as a covering for the people. It takes survivors like Harriet seeing the worst the devil can dish out and still choosing to see love people in a way that envelopes your whole being.

I don’t know if I will blog anymore about this trip. I find that once I get home it takes me several months before I can share my experiences. That being said, I will put up some pictures on the blog once I am at a high speed location!

Finally, I ask you to keep praying for the saints in Rwanda: Nathan, the Mango Tree Church congregation, Amy, Tiffany, Harriet, Archbishop, the kids in Hope Village and all the others who love us and are loving their people so well.

Coming Home

2008-06-21T08:54:00.001-06:00

Today is a sad day. It always happens this way. The end of the journey comes and I find that I am just not ready. I am wheels up on Saturday around 1 p.m. Central Standard Time (8 pm here). I will land in San Antonio on Sunday night at 8 p.m. Yes, that is 31 hours of traveling – assuming no delays! Pray for me and my long legs, kiddos! I love you all and will look forward to being with you soon. Blessings from Kigali. Muramukeho.

Hope Village

2008-06-21T08:53:00.000-06:00

Amy, Tiffany, and I went out to the Hope Village in Kabuga today. It is one of the child-headed villages supported by the Church here. It has been such a successful model that now the government is building some of their own to house the orphans of the genocide.

The child headed villages were started by the Anglican Church here in Rwanda following the genocide. The children needed a safe place to be stored away and a place to grow and learn. So, the Church took the surviving members of families and placed the children in their own small homes. The oldest child was in charge of the house, though the title for the house was put in the name of the youngest child (to ensure they would all reach adulthood with a roof over their head!). In addition, they were given a small plot of land next to their house to grow crops. This was as much vocational training as it was sustenance. It would have been a disservice to put these kids in an urban orphanage when their people had always been growers. In fact, 80% of the country is rural/agricultural.

Once again we were greeted with great joy from the young people. They showed us around their village – pointing out additions and updates. I noted with interest that they are completing another house, have added water catching devises to their homes, have a large cistern for each house, and the head “man” (he’s really still a youth), Claude, now owns his own cow! The kids have big plans for their village too. They would like to build a chapel for worship that can double as a meeting hall and community center for their village. They would like to add a water well so that in the dry season they don’t have to walk 2 miles for clean water. The diocese would like to add a counseling program for them as well to help them begin to unpack and process the events that stripped them of their homes and families.

We were taken to a house that I have mentioned before – so burned into my spirit that I shall never forget it. Inside, the only wall hanging is a beautiful family all dressed in white. Dad, Mom (who is clearly pregnant), and 9 children are all clothed in white. Even the smallest children are standing straight and looking quite smart. A black ball point pen has marred this black and white photograph. Across the chest of Dad, Mom, and 8 of the children is a + (including the infant in Mom’s arms). The second youngest child and the baby in Mom’s belly are the only two without the +. They are the residents of this house. Together, they have pruned their garden into the words, “God is Good.” In the face of such loss, I suppose it is good to remind yourself everyday you walk out of your house.

Anyway, we were out there because Amy and Tiffany came up with such a great idea. Many of the kids are now in secondary school or have completed secondary school, but have no where else to go – no other opportunities to explore. So, they have worked with the Diocese Administration to create a form for the kids to fill out indicating what they would like to do next: finish secondary school, go to a trade school or even to university.

The girls goal is to start with 10 of the kids and have them fill out these sponsorship forms and take each of their pictures. Then, try to find folks who might sponsor these survivors in school. I am very hopeful of their success. Most of the sponsorships will be around $600 U.S. per year. Can you imagine? $6,000 U.S. to send all these kids through vocational school and/or university! Like the girls, I think it can be done. Claude, the village head man, filled out the first form with us and will give instructions to all the others to get them filled out. The girls will go back on Tuesday to collect them and take their pictures. I know you will join me in praying for their success.

Choose to Shine

2008-06-21T08:52:00.000-06:00

“Choose to shine.” That is the slogan for the Star School, founded and built by none other than our own favorite son, Nathan Amooti!

One year ago, Nathan walked me up and down a very steep and overgrown hillside. He pointed to bushes and clumps of grass and banana trees. Each was a marker in his mind’s eye for the ideal spot for a classroom, dormitory, or other school building. Nathan is the product of education. He studied hard and worked for all his education. He began life as a simple cattle keeper who now has a master’s degree from an American Seminary. He has built a number of schools for and with the Anglican Church.

Nathan shared his lifelong dream of opening a Rwandan school for excellence. It would be educationally rigorous and open to children of all income levels. He wanted a school that would give poor cattle keepers the same boost through life he received – regardless of their ability to pay. He told me that he wanted to put a rocking chair on the porch of the school building so that when he retired he could be surrounded by children in his old age.

We returned this year to the Star School site. Where only plants grew out of the hillside one year ago, now buildings have sprung from the ground. Nathan has raised funds and built a classroom block (with 5 classrooms) and the attendant bathroom buildings. He has now almost completed separate boys and girls dormitories that will hold 500 children when complete. Let me tell you, I have seen a number of building go up in Rwanda. Never have I seen work happen so quickly! And so much has been built with so little. What makes it more amazing is how much has been done in the face of massive inflation here. For example, when he priced his drawings a bag of concrete was 7,500 frw ($15) and is now 12,000 frw ($25).

Soon Nathan will complete the dorms and be ready to build a cafeteria. His future plans include buying out the land next to him (currently owned by the Muslims – how heartbreaking to consider a possible madras being built next door to the Star School), building a primary school on those lands, and installing soccer and volleyball fields between the two schools. Oh, yeah: and a porch with a rocking chair, but he has a few decades left before that is absolutely necessary!

I don’t know when my friend will be able to finish building his dream, but I believe in him and his ability to raise the funds necessary to continue. I met the children of the Star School and their teachers. I have spoken with the headmistress. Most importantly, I have prayed on those lands with the school’s founder. I have no doubt God will bring all His good works to completion for his servant.

moving

2008-06-19T12:08:00.001-06:00

I will be working on a few more posts, but I am not sure when they will be posted. Shannon and Emily left tonight to head home (please pray for their travel), so I am moving out of the hotel in the morning to save some money! I am moving into the Guest House at the diocese compound where Amy and Tiffany (our awesome diocese interns) have been staying for the last month.

In other news, I am feeling much better so thank you for your prayers. Also, Harriet is home where we visited her today. She is feeling better. Shannon is bringing her CT scan home for our stateside doc friends to take a look at. Harriet will be in San Antonio soon as she has been given a student visa and will start classes at SAC this fall!

Hook em Horns

2008-06-19T11:50:00.000-06:00

We spent Monday with a group of folks from the University of Texas at Austin. As you know, UT has one of (if not THE finest) library systems in the world. All burnt orange pride aside; it really is an internationally recognized system.

A foundation has selected them to get a grant to help create a national archive here in Rwanda, especially documenting and recording the events of 1994. They are working with the group that founded and runs the various memorials here in Rwanda.

After a quick lunch with their group, we headed out to show them some of the country. We took them to two different memorials, both of which were once churches. The first church we visited was the site of 5000 deaths. The second saw between 10-25,000. Inside both churches are bone shelves where thousands of bodies are stored. All you want to do is look away. It is difficult to allow your eyes to run over each skull and see the fractures that were caused by violent and angry men. In the second church we were shown the still blood stained walls where infants were killed by beating them against the wall. All you want to do is look away.

All you want to do is look away. But if we do, if we look away, did it happen? If we look away, can it happen again?

I think this project the Longhorns are doing is very important. Maybe it will help the world not look away so often.

he sang into the grave

2008-06-19T11:33:00.002-06:00

A few days ago, we were honored to spend an afternoon with Archbishop Kolini. He is the head of the Rwandan Anglican Church (along with some Episcopal Churches in America who left U.S. control following their ordination of a homosexual bishop). Archbishop (or “Arch” as we affectionately call him!) is an extraordinary man. I have written and spoken of him before.

Arch drove us out to Bugesera to check in on a couple of really wonderful projects. Bugesera is now about a 25 minute drive from Kigali. The first time I went to Bugesera (2006) it was a 2 ½ hour drive. The government has really been investing in building good roads to connect the country, I tell you. They even have a new bridge that goes over the “Nile” that separates the Kigali and Bugesera provinces. (It’s not really the Nile, though it may be a tributary of the Nile. Like most central African countries, Rwanda claims to be the source of the Nile. Even the Arch calls it the Nile, saying: “It takes a lot of Rwandan soil to feed the Egyptians.”) I was really happy to see the new bridge because the old one may have been more dangerous than going to see the gorillas! As we were crossing the bridge, Arch said to me, “Ryan, during the genocide many of our people hid there in the swamps for several months. Eight of our children were born there.”

One of the real success stories in Bugesera is the Mother’s Union. It was formed by a woman in the diocese who lost her husband in the genocide. Like many women, she needed a way to find a way forward with life. This included a need for income, opportunity for children, emotional support, spiritual nurturing, and forgiveness in her heart.

The first Mother’s Union was formed there in Bugesera as women came together to meet and pray. They got a small grant and expanded their fellowship to include making soap. The business took off and they then opened a commissary. They expanded that by carrying trays amongst the people after weddings and church. They got a grant to buy a car to carry their soap to further areas. This time, we arrived to see their massive hall they are building. Really, it is quite something to see. They have build it to hold almost 1000 people. They will host weddings and big groups. The hall is having the floor installed now and with a little more money and work, it will be done. Bugesera is the site of a new international airport (which will be built when the government finds a way to fund it!). Because of the new road and new airport, these women are well situated.

Perhaps the greatest success has been in the area of reconciliation. Women are working, living, and praying side by side with one another. This includes women who lost their husband in the genocide and those women whose husbands are in prison for participating in the genocide. It has taken time, but God has worked among them. They are now focused on replicating the groups in Bugesera and around the country. They have over 750 groups now operating!

As we were walking past the church in the diocese compound next to the new women's hall, Arch turned and addressed me. During the genocide, the interhamwe came here because the pastor had been reported to be a "cockroach." They demanded that our pastor call his people to the church so that they could be killed. The pastor refused so they decided to drown him in the Nile. When they got to the riverside, the pastor asked for a moment to pray. His captors stopped and listened as the pastor prayed his prayers and concluded by asking for God to forgive his murderers. With that, they led the pastor into the water as he sang hymns to God. He sang into his grave.

ill

2008-06-18T12:26:00.003-06:00

Sorry for the delay in posting. To be honest, I was very sick yesterday. I spent the whole day cocooned under my blankets. I didn't want to post until I felt better so that my folks wouldn't worry quite so much!

I managed to get out of bed today some and get out just a bit. I am back on solid food - and so far, so good! I have a couple other posts that I am working on, but am going to have to wait as I am pretty beat and headed back to bed. Tomorrow we are headed out to a school and I am really excited to see it. I was at the sight where Nathan has built his school last year and it was just an overgrown field. Now over 70 students are learning in brand new facilities!

Also, pray for our friend Harriet. She had to go to the hospital today. She is just getting out tonight. She is going to be fine, but I know she will appreciate all of your prayers.

devastated

2008-06-16T20:00:00.001-06:00

I woke up this morning at 1:30 a.m. I was really surprised because I had been sleeping really well – almost too well! Once up, I tossed and turned for about an hour and a half. My mind was heavy Van, Debbie, Mary, Walt, and Melendy. They were en route to us. I was just really troubled.

I thought it must just be my spirit being disturbed by the places we visited today. I fell into one of those very fitful sleeps around 3:00, I think. At 3:30 a.m. the phone rang. I sat up in bed and I was covered in sweat. It was my friend, Van calling from New York. Because of delays they had missed their connections to make it to us in Rwanda. (I said, “Well, that explains it” over the phone confusing Van, I think, but meaning why I was bathed in sweat and having trouble sleeping).

The best the airlines could do was get them here on Thursday night. We are scheduled to leave on Saturday. It just didn’t make any sense for them to travel Monday – Thursday, then be here a day and half and travel for two more days heading home. So, I sent them back to San Antonio. We will have to try for them again later in the year. I still need to talk this over with Shannon and Emily when they get up in the morning, but I am pretty sure I made the right call.

Needless to say, I am devastated. I just feel like crying. All the people coming are such good friends of mine. We have all been looking forward to this time together so much. Plus, the Williams were going to be recording a number of our projects here so that we could really tell the story of God’s work through the church to all of you at home.

Will you all please join me in prayer? Pray for those who are traveling with heavy hearts back to San Antonio tonight. Pray for us here in Rwanda. Pray that the Lord will work ultimate good from the mess the Enemy creates.

It’s now 4 a.m., all is not well, but the Lord promises that joy cometh in the morning, so I am off to bed again.

Church of the Blessed Mango Trees

2008-06-16T11:07:00.000-06:00

Sunday morning I was invited to preach at the Mango Tree Church. It was named that by my friend, Nathan who is the pastor of the church. It is actually a church plant of Nathan’s other church in Gikundo. As the head man, it was Nathan’s responsibility to start the new parish.

When I first visited there, Nathan showed me three mango trees that grew near one another and cast shade onto the ground. There was a small patch of bare dirt where, “The choir stood.” Before my sermon began, I told the congregation that I could tell they were doing a good job because last year, only a small patch of dirt showed through the grass where people were standing and dancing. Now, the whole hillside is stripped of grass because of the great number of people worship God there.

Nathan explained who I was and that I was the man he had visited in the U.S. He told them about all of you, my church and how you gave a collection for the people of the Mango Tree Church. They were so very excited. Later Nathan told me that his people were all very surprised because when he had told them about our church, they assumed that I must be an old bald man to have such a fine congregation!On your behalf, I received their thanks which included a song, a dance, and a great shout to the Lord! They were very encouraged – the mango trees have served them well, but it is time to put up a proper roof!

They will use the funds you gave them to build what is essentially a pavilion. They will put in a concrete floor under it. This will serve them until money can be raised to put up proper walls.

Nathan said, “our weekly collection is about 1,590 frw (which is $3 U.S.), so you can imagine how long it would have taken us to build the church if it wasn’t for your people.”

And what a church he is building. The congregation I addressed was about 100 people strong and 70 of them were children! We heard from three different choirs. The first were the pros. They had come over from the mother church. The next was a group of brand new Christians – they had just been baptized. The third choir was a newly formed youth choir – also of new Christians.

I only made one mistake (I think!) and that is I forgot my camera. I was so focused on the preaching I just didn’t think about it. It really is unfortunate, because I would have liked to have shown you pictures of the people you have partnered with in planting a new church! Perhaps some of you will just have to come over here for worship and see for yourselves!

never say never to a praying man

2008-06-15T11:14:00.001-06:00

So, Shannon and I are sitting on the airplane in Dallas. If you are playing along, you will remember that this is the flight that was massively delayed. We weren’t really sure that we would have enough time to get on the plane and make it up to Chicago to make our European connection.

We are watching the clock turn as the people are loaded aboard. The pilot makes the announcement that always makes me laugh. He says, “If you all will help us get underway by quickly storing all your bags and stepping out of the aisle, that would be great. We are in a bit of a hurry to get going.” He says this to a group of people who have been waiting over 2 hours to get on the plane! It seems like I hear that on every plane these days. We are running late, so if you could just rush aboard . . .

Everyone was finally loaded up, but the door still wasn’t closing. Shannon pulled the steward over and asked how much longer we might be here. He looked around in a conspiratorial way and said that he shouldn’t be telling us, but . . .

There is a mechanical problem with the plane that will probably take at least an hour to sort out and get clearance to depart. When we told him that we were tight on time and would miss our connection to Rwanda, he consulted with the captain for us. We were advised to get off the plane and head back to San Antonio and try again on Monday (The next time our itinerary would be available into Kigali). Shan and I were not sure what to do, so we prayed. Just as we were trying to figure out what to do, the plane door slammed shut and the pilot announced the problem was solved and we were taking off. Moreover, flight conditions were very favorable and we would make excellent time in the air!

Well, let me tell you, we prayed ourselves (and our bags!) right on into Rwanda. I really do think that the Lord is on our side and is listening to the saints plead on our behalf! Keep it up sweet church.

Happy Father's Day

2008-06-15T11:02:00.000-06:00

Before blogging any further, I need to pause to say, “Happy Father’s Day.” For some reason, my email isn’t functioning and I have never learned how to make an international call. So, this public forum will have to do!

Happy Father’s Day Mike! I love you very much and it was good to be with you last week at my ordination. Pastor Nathan sends you his best! See you soon.

Jet lagged, but here

2008-06-15T06:46:00.001-06:00

Well, we made it out of Dallas and from there it was close all the way into Rwanda. But, we made it by the grace of God and the effectiveness of your prayers. Even more remarkable – all our bags made it with us!

So, we got into the hotel last night, had a nice dinner with some friends and got off to bed. I woke up a little late this morning (oh, my, gosh), but made it to the Mango Tree Church in time with my brother, Pastor Nathan. We enjoyed our worship under those Mango trees.

They raised up quite a shout of thanksgiving to God and to you my sweet church when they discovered you had contributed all the money they needed to put up a roof for their church! They sang and danced all the while rejoicing for God's provision delivered through you.

I will write more soon, but we are on our way back out. I did at least want you to know that we have arrived, are safe, and are truly blessed.

Church, you are in my prayers as you get ready for Sunday worship!

Pray, pray

2008-06-13T10:10:00.002-06:00

Ok, blog fans. We need your prayers already! Weather and heavy traffic in Chicago have delayed our flight from Dallas to Chi-town. It is going to be close to make it to our Brussels flight. We need two very important things. 1) That we make our Chicago-Brussels connection. 2) That our bags make it with us! (I will be embarrassed to have to preach to Nathans church in what I am wearing for my 35+ hours of travel!)

So, pray, pray. From DFW, signing out!

Rwanda 2008

2008-06-12T22:37:00.001-06:00

Tomorrow morning I will once again get on a plane to make the incredible (and incredibly long!) journey to central Africa. Specifically, I will leave San Antonio on Friday morning and arrive in Kigali late Saturday night. My flight plans will take me from S.A. to Dallas to Chicago to Brussels to Kigali International Airport. I know when we arrive a number of our dear friends will be there at the airport waiting to greet us and whisk us off to our hotel.

Shannon and our friend Emily will be going a few days early so that we can sit down and speak at length with our friends and touch base on how things are going for them. I cannot stress how eager we are to share in all the good work these saints are doing for Christ.

On Tuesday the rest of our team will arrive. Van, Debbie, Mary, Melendy, and Walt will join Shan, Em, and I (along with Amy and Tiffany who are already in Rwanda where they are in the middle of their 6 week internship in the Kigali diocese).

It is my intent to post a blog or two each day we are there, but remember it is an 8 hour time difference. Also, no one (read: “mom”) should panic if for some reason there are no posts. It is still a developing nation and you are never guaranteed the instant internet access I have become accustomed to!

I encourage you all to pray for us each day as we seek the Lord’s face and favor.

live better

2008-06-01T18:22:00.000-06:00

It seems like every time I am away somewhere, I find myself thinking about what it would be like to live there.

So, here I am on Oahu thinking about buying a little restaurant, living in a shack, marrying a hula-girl (you should have seen them dancing at the luau!!!), laying about in the sun, and soaking up the islands for the next 40 years. This fantasy typically starts with me growing a church, but quickly changes to a non-ministry vocation. After all, it is my fantasy and dreaming about doing more of the same isn’t much of an escape. In my imagination, I am able to be perfectly content sitting on a porch all day whiling away the hours. And I have no doubt that I would be content – for about 3 months, maybe less.

The attractive part of all this certainly has something to do with the location. Oahu is gorgeous, Rwanda is breathtaking, Salida is a gas, but even these places where I have dreamed of living would lose their allure if I lived there the way I live at home. In the end, it isn’t the location or the vocation – it is the approach to life that makes the grass appear greener.

If I am honest, the very happiest I have been in my entire life was a summer spent preaching camp after camp. I got up every morning to share devotional thoughts with the campers. I worked out, ran until I dropped, laid in the sun, swam for an hour, took a nap, and finally worked on my sermon a little before dinner. Each night I would preach for an hour or so. By the end of summer, I was fit, tan, in the Word, and had played a part in making an eternal difference in the lives of the young people who journeyed with us.

I also know that the last four years have brought me more satisfaction and joy than any other period in my life. God made me to preach and lead a church – this much I have discovered and that discovery has brought me a kind of contentment that trumps happiness.

In the end, I don’t want to live somewhere else – even if it is paradise. But I do want to live better at home. I want to live better. I want to slow myself down, to find contentment in conversation, to find the time to just lie in the sun for an hour. I’m really not sure if even these simple goals are actually achievable. It seems that there is always so much to do and so many people expecting so much. Ultimately though, I know I am responsible for living on the ragged edge of brownout and I am equally responsible for finding a way to live better.

I will tell you one thing, I am supremely grateful for my friends Sam and Shan who gave me a gift of this time away with them and to take a deep breath and inhale some much needed rest and the perspective that comes with it.

mindnumbing rest

2008-05-31T17:58:00.007-06:00

So, yesterday we went snorkling off of the Ko'lina Cat. I got some underwater pics, but will have to wait for them to be developed. We swam, sat in the sun, and generally made a day out of being beach bums. Last night we went to a laua. It was pretty interesting. The best way I can explain is to say that if I planned a laua based on what I thought was supposed to happen at a laua, it is what I would have done. Nevertheless, it was a gas. Dinner and a show on the beach at sunset -- what is there to complain about? I guess I don't have a lot to say, but then a picture is worth more anyway. So, enjoy these.

Redonkulous

2008-05-29T12:18:00.003-06:00

Aloha all you hawlies. Life is good in paradise. (Is that redundant?) I got in Tuesday night, we had dinner on Wikiki Beach and by the time I hit the sack my jet lag had been conquered. Sam and I got up the next morning and toured Pearl Harbor. The afternoon was spent baking by one of four spectacular lagoons by our place. Today, we are headed up to North Shore. We were scheduled to swim with the dolphins today, but something came up and they canceled us, so we are working to reschedule that one.

So far, I am doing everything I can to not think about work. Unfortunately, my subconscious doesn't let go quite so easily. I dreamt last night about the demise of the Methodist Church and our coming fight to save her. Fortunately, there isn’t much stress that the rising sun over the pacific ocean can’t immediately stifle!

Vacating

2008-05-26T10:10:00.001-06:00

Tomorrow I leave on vacation. Which, of course, means that today I am running to and fro trying to prepare to be gone. Does it seem strange to anyone else that going on vacation is so stressful? You have to get all your clothes cleaned, pack your bags, spend the day figuring out exactly what you have forgotten to pack, cleaning the house for the house/Maddie-sitter, and on and on. The payoff though is certainly worth the flurry of activity.

I am headed out to Hawaii – going to Oahu to be exact. Some of my really good friends invited me to come out and spend a week with their family who is vacationing this month out there. I have never been to the islands before, so this is very exciting for me. I am ready to truly shut down and simply relax. I am picturing myself as a small puddle on a perfect beach absorbing ridiculous amounts of sun. One of the things I have learned to be very good at these last four years is vacationing. I will turn my phone off, refuse to check email, and trust that I am not indispensable to the life of the church. I learned this from one of my early mentors, Rev. Frank Wolfe. Pastor Frank was my boss when I was doing youth ministry in Pflugerville. He taught me that our work is always life and death. There would always be something going on at the church that demanded our attention – whether we were there or not. When you are literally in a life-and-death business, there is no such thing as a good time to be gone. Yet, renewal is absolutely critical for longevity in ministry. The cost of sacrificing personal health for the immediate fires that ignite could well be burning yourself out long before your time.

This trip is a little gift to myself for having endured a decade of work in the Methodist Ordination process. I’ll come back to Texas just in time to pack a different bag and head down to Corpus Christi for Annual Conference where I am set to be ordained.

I will try to do some posts while I am gone – I know my folks will appreciate some pictures, but I can’t promise anything. Aloha, yall!

stray thought

2008-05-17T10:42:00.001-06:00

Luke 11.11: “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?”

Ask for your heart’s desire. Don’t be a fool for trying to avoid being made to look foolish.

oh, so i AM hearing you

2008-05-14T15:35:00.000-06:00

There are times that I go through when I really miss the unmistakable sound of my Lord’s voice. I am left to my own intellect – my experiences, my understanding of scripture, and my reason. These things are very useful to be sure, but after a while, you just need to be sure you are moving in the right direction. Lately, I have been in that very quiet place. Though I remain there still, I recently had some encouragement that let me know that I do seem to be hearing something.

I was out to dinner on Saturday night after service with some young folks from Austin. They came down to go to the youth service and say hi to some of us around the U that they know from being a part of the Conference Youth Program. One of the guys who was there just graduated from UT and will be working at a church in Austin this next year. I am really a fan of this guy. He is bright, articulate, and an excellent model for the youth of his church and our conference. I actually tried to bribe him into coming to work for us this summer! Truly, I feel like this kid is worth investing in for the sake of the church. He clearly has a dynamic call and is one of the best and brightest of his generation. How the Methodist Church would gain from 50 like him swelling the clergy ranks.

He was telling me how this summer he will be going to central America to live for a couple of months working with what are in effect street kids. He is just getting ready to start fundraising for the trip. Now I know what a youth intern gets paid. It doesn’t matter that this kid has an ENGINEERING degree from THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS and could command large sums in the private sector. So, here is a kid, giving up a good income to work for a church and preparing to stick his hand out to others so that he can go work with street kids in a developing nation.

His lodging was going to run $800 for the eight weeks he was there. My first thought was were is my checkbook – its in my bag in the trunk. As he was talking (he never asked), I thought, I will write him a check for the whole thing. Then that other voice spoke that said, maybe just $25-30. I just listened and prayed all through the rest of dinner. When we went out, I called him over to the trunk where I was madly scribbling a check. While he said, “oh, Ryan you don’t need to do that,” I finished writing. I handed him a folded check for the amount that I thought God inspired: $500. He stuck the check in his pocket without looking at it, hugged me, and drove off.

So, a week later, I am paying bills. Ahem. I decided that perhaps “God” was not the inspiration for the amount I had chosen. I found myself wondering when/if I would with certainty hear from my Lord. Seriously, I prayed a lot about this, figuring that I must have not been led at all.

An envelope appeared in my mailbox this week. It was addressed in block print to my name at the church. The return address had been block printed with the church’s address. Uh, oh. It was an anonymous letter. I get these from time to time and inevitably they grieve my spirit to no end. Broken people can say the most hurtful things under the “protection” of anonymity. It is my habit to just discard them. I’d rather take my beating like a man – face to face with my accuser. My heart holds such fear that my hands tremble a little bit as I open the letter.

The letter reads: Pastor Ryan: Just a quick note of thanks for all the things you do for us at University. We feel so fortunate and blessed to have you as our worship leader. We attribute our current level of stewardship to your (sometimes not so gentle) prodding. We have benefited in many ways from becoming more involved at church. Our faith in Christ and relationship with him continues to grow. Above and beyond the tithes and gifts we make to the church, enclosed is a gift for you. If you still have outstanding school loans, we want you to apply this toward them. If your loans are paid off, please pass this on to a colleague who may use this toward his or her debt. Our gratitude and prayers are with you.

With the letter was an anonymous money order. Want to guess how much it is for? $500.

To my secret benefactor: thank you. The money is helpful, of course, and I hope that I can multiply it and bless another the way that you have blessed me. But even more than for the money, thank you for hearing from God and obeying. Your action is a sure and certain sign to me that God is hearing my cries and he is responding. Your faithfulness gave me witness of my own. What greater joy can pass between believers in the body of Christ than mutually encouraging one another to good works and greater faith?

Meet the U's new Discipleship Pastor - Rev. Will Rice

2008-05-09T11:01:00.002-06:00

Over the last four years, I have been introduced to a number of the clergy in the Southwest Texas Conference. One of those is Rev. Will Rice. Will and I come from very different backgrounds. I am a southern boy who was raised in a Christian household. He is a yankee (but he has overcome this affliction nicely) who had no Christian upbringing. While my calling has been a lifelong process, Will received his almost simultaneously with his salvation. I matriculated through Asbury, he through Perkins and Austin Presbyterian.

I think it was Will’s incredible intelligence that drew me into conversation with him. Like Wesley, I find Will to be one of Methodism’s great practical theologians. His insight and understanding of Scripture and matters of faith is profound. Even more impressive, Will knows that understanding without application is a boat without a sail.

I think one other thing needs to be said. I am a student of preaching. I am a preacher and I love the discipline. Nothing excites me more than a well delivered sermon. For me, listening to a sermon is kind of like a painter walking through a gallery. I can appreciate the finer arts of preaching, the subtleties, the nuances, and the overall delivery.

I have had the opportunity to hear Will preach and lead liturgy. I think he is probably one of the finest orators I have ever heard. I know that discipleship is his true passion and primary giftedness, but folks, this guy can flat out preach.

It still makes me smile to think about the start of our friendship. As many of you know, over the last 3 years, I have had to go to Mt. Wesley for “Covenant Connection,” an overnight retreat for those seeking ordination. These are meetings at which the potential ordinands are scrutinized for evidence of ability to be in ministry. To say the least, it is a high stress environment! We had gone several times when the leaders announced that we would have “dinner on our own” in Kerrville (as opposed to the Mt. Wesley cafeteria). Somehow, Will and I both interpreted that to mean that we could go have dinner on our own. We knew there was a big group going to Chili’s, but we decided a little one-on-one conversation was just what our souls needed – so we went to Mamacita’s (ok, maybe we knew some enchiladas were also needed by our souls).

That was the true start of our friendship and the highlight of my entire 3 year process. We sat that night and shared things of importance. I learned about his wife, his upbringing, and his call to ministry. He learned about my passions, my work, and my dreams. In just a few hours, I knew I had made a lifelong friend.

When we got back to Mt. Wesley, we were in some hot water. Apparently “dinner on your own” was code for everyone is having dinner together at Chili’s. Honestly, it was a truly innocent misunderstanding on our part. Over the next several years, every time dinner plans were announced, it was stressed that everyone should be there. Truthfully, I don’t know if it was the dinner or just being in trouble together (from there on out we were the bad boys!), but Will and my friendship was cemented forever. There really is something powerful about suffering together. I can honestly say that it was Will’s friendship that most enabled me to grind through the process.

Though it probably shouldn’t, it still astounds me that God works in such marvelous ways. I couldn’t believe it when the Bishop announced that Will would be appointed to University as our new Discipleship Pastor. I knew that Will was a conference leader in discipleship and had been tutored in theology by our own Charles Anderson, but I never thought I would really have the chance to work side by side with him! God is good – all the time!

I think I may have buried my headline here – I had intended to only write a quick paragraph to tell you about where you can get to know Will in his own words.

Will was my inspiration for beginning a blog and he is much more faithful to the discipline than me. His former blog was tied to his church in Corpus Christi, but he has started a new one just for you! You can read Will at: www.willubeadisciple.blogspot.com. He has posted there his writings about the ordination process as he has experienced it. I know his writing will bless you, just has it has me!

blog stalkers

2008-05-08T09:44:00.001-06:00

So, I recently got an earful from self-identified blog stalkers who chastised me for my sloth. They went so far as to claim that I was “cheating” by posting articles I wrote for the Encourager magazine.

I will admit: I have been very unfaithful to the old blog. I hesitate to promise to do better because I like being a man of my word! The truth is, I often think about writing something to post, but the words have just been few and far between. I find that I am not doing a lot of deep thinking about anything worthy of sharing! It seems that the rigors of my administrative responsibilities are sucking much of my creative life right out of me. Add to that some family things that weigh heavily on my heart and my sweet stalkers are out of luck.

So, to the faithful – please accept my apologies. Over the next few days, I will be posting some of the few thoughts and insights I have managed to have in the last month or so. As I offer them, I appreciate your comments and commentary!

Claiming Pentecost

2008-05-01T11:18:00.003-06:00

The following was originally written for the May edition of our Monthly uzine, The Encourager. The complete publication can be found online at www.uchurch.tv:

Two thousand years ago the disciples witnessed a miracle. The Lord Jesus had risen from the grave – triumphing over hell and death. He repeatedly appeared before them commissioning them for work in His Kingdom. Again and again, Jesus demonstrated the veracity of his resurrection and offered them words of instruction and the promise of power to come.

The disciples waited, wondering about the promised presence of God’s Holy Spirit. They met together discussing the significance of these events. Remaining together, no doubt huddled in prayer, they waited. All of scripture and wisdom had been made known to them through the ministry and resurrection of Christ. They had all the information they needed to carry out God’s master plan for His Creation. God has long declared that he had chosen his people as His inheritance – His portion. Of all creation, God had chosen humankind to be his treasured possession. Now the time had come for the treasure to shine. Yet, they still waited. Knowledge and information simply wasn’t enough to translate into fruitful activity.

On the Day of Pentecost all of that changed. Added to the disciple’s knowledge and experience was the long promised gift of the Holy Spirit. When the Spirit of God fell on humankind, Peter stood and quoted the prophet Joel saying, “In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy. I will show wonders in the heaven above and signs on the earth below, blood and fire and billows of smoke. The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord. And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Acts 2.17-21)

For some people Christmas is their favorite of the Christian holy days. For others, it is Easter. Not me. My favorite day in the Christian calendar is Pentecost. It marks the true birth of the church – the birth of community and missional purpose in the world. Pentecost signals the end of preparation and waiting. Like a starters pistol ringing around the word, the giving of the Spirit signaled the final leg of God’s redemptive race.

As a people, we have been given everything we need to succeed. God has revealed himself to us in the flesh of Jesus Christ. Through His teaching and ministry a pattern for holy and perfect living has been set before us. Through His death we received atonement for our sins and freedom from the body of death that so easily ensnares us. Through His resurrection the magnitude and scope of God’s activity in human events became known. And through the outpouring of his Holy Spirit, strength and power have been given that His people might be agents of redemption and reconciliation in the world.

This year, Pentecost falls on May 11 – Mother’s Day. It is appropriate that on that day we all celebrate the work of the Holy Spirit who gave birth to a church. He who formed a family for God that goes beyond bonds of blood and unites us all in spirit and truth.

I pray that this Pentecost finds us ready to receive anew the gift of God’s Spirit. God grant that we would be a people who look for the signs of God’s ongoing work of ministry in the world. Moreover, grant that we be a people who are agents of God’s ongoing work of ministry in the world. As the Spirit empowers us, may we look more like Jesus and work in ways that enable the world to look more to Jesus. May the Spirit of God unify us into one body, singular in our purpose and mission. May the Spirit of God embolden us to offer Christ to all. May the Spirit of God empower us to transform and renew the face of the earth through our ministries of mission and service.

Church, I beseech you: Let us live like a people who are indwelt by the Holy Spirit. Let us be a people who proclaim with signs and wonders the goodness of God’s grace in Christ Jesus. Let us be a people who work like those who are made in the image of Christ to exhort the world to call upon the name of the Lord and find salvation therein.

facebook

2008-04-14T21:07:00.002-06:00

Well, only a decade behind the times, I joined facebook this last week. It is an interesting cyber-place. I have found some old friends there that I thought were lost to the pages of time. We are truly living in a unique age. In any generation before, it would be impossible to find lost friends - people from high school, college, and days gone by. No longer. I have been enjoying a lot of good memories that go with each name that pops up on my homepage.The only problem I can see is the massive amount of time that could be consumed by trying to keep up with a lifetime of friends all at once. Oh, who am I kidding. I can't even keep up with the 3 friends I have now.

morning wisdom

2008-04-07T10:19:00.000-06:00

“The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice. A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.”
-- Proverbs 12.15-16

Oh, that I would not be a fool today.

trash

2008-04-03T15:45:00.000-06:00

This morning I pulled out of the garage and turned up the street. I noticed a woman in an SUV pulling big bags of trash out of the back and trying to cram them into my neighbor’s trash can. In that split second, I waived cautiously and she smiled guiltily.

I was only a second or two down the road when the whole scene registered. Too late I realized that she was doing something she probably wasn’t supposed to and my little wave probably encouraged her! So, with righteous indignation churning through my veins, I pulled around the block and circled around to my own house again – knowing what I would see.

She had now precariously perched two HUGE bags of trash on top of my trash can. I rolled down the window. “Uh. Oh. Good. I was trying to catch you. I needed to put my trash somewhere. You don’t mind, right,” says she.

“Only insofar as it is about to rain and now my trash can is going to fill with water – then give off that distinct wet trash odor for the next few weeks,” says me.

“Oh, well. I ran out of room in my can and the trash man told me to just do this. He is just around the corner, so it should get too wet,” says she.

Not for nothing, but I am quite good at timing my trash output to coincide with collection. In my neighborhood, they only come once a week and you must get it all in the city assigned can. Mine was perfectly full. Then she came along and overflowed me. What would the neighbors think? “Boy, that Ryan doesn’t know how to manage his trash output. Shameful. Let’s shun him from the next Neighbor’s night out.”

I would have loved to ask this trash bandit why, if what she was doing was at the behest of the trash man, didn’t she do it in her next-door neighbor’s can? Why drive all the way to another block at 8 am with all that refuse stacked in her car? And, if the trash man was standing right there giving instruction, couldn’t she have just thrown it in the truck right then?

Jesus probably would have opened his trunk and offered to take it to the dump for her.

Paradigms

2008-04-01T18:26:00.001-06:00

The following was originally published in the April edition of our uzine, "The Encourager." The complete edition can be found on our website at http://news.uchurch.tv/Encourager/April%202008%20for%20web.pdf

Some nights I lie down for bed and try to figure out whether or not I was faithful that day. I review the events of my day in my mind’s eye. I let the images roll one after another. Sometimes I smile, sometimes I cringe, and sometimes I just fall asleep! Most days have flashes of pride, frustration, and weakness – though they typically pass before they cause me to really regret the day.

If I am very honest, it is not the days with small outbursts of sin that I really regret. I tend to lament the days that pass where I neither look more like Jesus nor does the world look more toward Jesus. It happens more frequently than I care to admit. I think back across the course of my day and realize that I was little more than very busy. I ran from sunup to sundown. There was a blur of meetings, quick conversations in the hallways, and perhaps some small project or writing assignment at my desk.

At the end of the day, I am a tired guy who looks no more like Jesus than when I woke up. I can’t imagine that Jesus was ever “hurried.”

Even as I force myself to undergo critical self examination, so also should the church. We should be examining our corporate life together. At the end of every day, month, year, we should ask whether as a body we look more like Jesus and if the world looks more toward Jesus because of our activity. I have no doubt the church will have been a busy place – a hive of activity. The critical question is whether we are living up to our missional calling from Jesus Christ.

Vision is the best remedy to busy days that bear little eternal fruit. A vision is a picture of the future as God desires it to be. A vision allows us to fix our eyes on Christ and journey down a path that develops our personal holiness and advances his Kingdom. All of our activity and action can be measured by a vision.

The process of visioning is not so different from self examination at the end of a day. To catch a glimpse of God’s vision for our church, we need only project our mind’s eye into the future and let the scenes of our life together roll. Rather than reflecting on what has happened in the past, we allow God to show us what the coming day could be and should be.

At University, we seek to measure our activity – not by the sheer number of programs and activities, but whether at the end of each day we look more like Jesus and the world looks more toward Jesus. To put it simply, we are called to make disciples for Jesus Christ.

We are created that we might take people who are alienated from God and introduce them to Jesus (Meeting). Then we are to share the teachings of Christ with these new disciples (Message). Once they have the news of Jesus, we can help these true disciples claim their calling and be deployed in ministry for Christ (Mission). At the end of this disciple-making journey we should discover a trained discipler who can engage others in this life changing adventure.
Church, I call on us all to be ruthlessly honest about ourselves and our ministries. Let us reflect on the days we have had even as we vision for the days to come. Let us labor everyday at the ministries of meeting, message, and mission. At the end of our day – when our Lord returns, I pray we will find that we will all look like him and the whole world will be looking toward him.

naming

2008-04-01T18:25:00.000-06:00

One of our new church members and his wife sent me a series of text messages suggesting possible names for the new Contemporary Worship Sanctuary in the North Campus. I was cracking up for two days as they continued to come in over the airwaves. How about you? Any fun ideas? Enjoy.

The house that U built
unasium
utopia
uknow-that-place
Sin-n-skate
skate-n-sing
praise-o-rama
Him-nasium
Hymn-nasium
Come-n-see-Him
The Skateuary
JC Arena
urena
Temple Beth-Ball
The King's Court and Fool's Flooy House
Let's Go Praisy
Praisy for Loving you

sweet

2008-03-29T10:35:00.001-06:00

Last night was “Faith Night” at the San Antonio Spurs game. That is – the World Champion San Antonio Spurs! I had met the guy who set the whole deal up when I was the pastor for the Faith Night done at the Rampage Game. Anyway, he is a great guy and really has a heart for sharing the faith with others through their organization.

Mark was scheduled to play outside the AT&T Center before the game – and he did, though he had to end early because of rain. In fact, I just missed hearing him even though Jesse and I went there early just to hear him! So, we hooked up with Mark and the guy playing with him and then ran into our friends, the Dippos from church. They invited us up to their company’s box! It was so awesome. They were so sweet and made us feel like princes. At halftime I had some great food followed by a giant caramel apple covered in M&M’s!

We watched the game from about the fifth row – center court. It is incredible to see the athleticism of those guys from eye level. The interaction between players, coaches, and referees is fascinating. At one point Mark looked at me and asked, did you ever believe we would experience things like this in ministry?

After the game, a musician named Phil Wickham performed some songs and Bruce Bowen gave a witness. Former Baylor football coach Grant Teaff also spoke. It was a really encouraging night.

My favorite part of the whole night though was getting to just hang out with my friend and mentor, Jesse. We have been working so hard on church projects that we haven’t had much chance to just relax and talk. I rely on him so much for spiritual direction and counsel that it was good to connect again on life and love rather than the bricks and mortar that has consumed us the last several months.

the day after

2008-03-24T16:46:00.001-06:00

The day after Holy Week concludes is a major day of rest for us clergy types. I am having a nice relaxing day that included a trip to the gym, some video games, a massage, and a much needed adjustment (no, not to my attitude thank you very much). After weeks of endless moving and preparation for an extraordinary number of worship services (my contemporary team did 9 in 8 days) we are all fairly beat. In addition to the physical strain, we all paid the emotional and spiritual toll for living in the mist of Christ’s passion, the vigil as we awaited his resurrection, and the party that was Easter! It is a gorgeous day in San Antonio – again. We seem to have an abundance of gorgeous days here. I can’t believe I am blogging about the weather. I really must be tired. I think I will just quit while I am

open

2008-03-19T08:41:00.001-06:00

The dam has broken and the waters of revival are flowing. Though the building is riddled with orange dots and blue tape marking needed finish-out from the contractor, we are off and running in our new space. We were featured on Great Day SA (a local morning show), Mark and his band were the studio musicians on the same show and thousands of people have made their way into worship. We had our highest attended Spring Break Sunday in memory last week. We are running headlong into Easter this weekend with contemporary services planned for Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter Morning. I have to admit, if we are able to pull off what we are planning for our Good Friday service, I believe it will be the most profound service of worship I have ever been a part of. I think people will really begin to see the level of creative worship that can be done in our new sanctuary.

Sorry for the slow pace of posts, I will try to be more attentive!

goodness

2008-03-05T11:02:00.001-06:00

The following was originally written for publication in the March edition of our uzine, The Encourager:

“We were having dinner at the Anglican Guest House with the staff of the Rhungari diocese. As we were visiting, we began to talk about how various nationalities are being received in Rwanda. Some folks are certainly more welcome than others. At the moment Americans are well received. As we were sharing, one of the men of Rwanda remarked, “How do I know you are good, unless you are good to me?” How indeed. As the church we claim goodness as though it were a divine inheritance, but even Jesus asked, “why do you call me good, no one is good apart from the Father.” It seems to me that my friend is right. How do I know you are good unless you are good to me?” Or put another way, “How do I know you are from the Father unless you share what the Father has given you with me.” In the end, that is the church’s call. How will people in San Antonio know that University is good unless we are good to them?”

Being and doing the good work of the Father is, and always has been, the work of his people. In Jesus Christ, the goodness of God is most clearly known. He who had no sin, became sin for all that we might be saved from hell and given abundant life. God’s goodness grants us eternal life and sustains us in times of trial and turmoil. Through his grace, we endure and thrive.

We have been blessed by the model of sacrificial love given through Jesus’ work on the cross. This blessing is meant to be shared with others. Jesus was equally committed to sharing the path of salvation that leads to personal holiness and the way of righteousness which leads to social holiness. By his teaching and example, the church comes to know its two-fold responsibility to the world around us.

The Church often confuses our calling by narrowing the focus of our calling to promoting either personal holiness (Evangelism) or social holiness (Missions). Instead, we are called to participate in the goodness of God in both word and deed. It is important for all of our missional work to be decidedly evangelistic. After all, Jesus was clear about his uniqueness in all creation to offer salvation to humankind. At the same time, we are told that the Word became Flesh. God’s goodness became incarnate in his Son. Thus, it is equally important that our evangelism be decidedly missional.

My call to you, church, is to wholeheartedly take up your responsibility for Outreach. This work belongs to the whole people of God, not just a committed core of people within the church body. Our obedience to Christ compels us to participate in the ongoing work of God on earth. Everyone is uniquely gifted by God and will express their work in outreach differently. Some will build homes in San Antonio while others will provide medical care to the people of South America. God certainly invites us to discern our role in his Kingdom building work – but he expects that we will be doing Kingdom building work.

Church, the work of reaching out belongs to us all. You are called and expected to support the work of evangelism and missions through your sacrificial financial support. You need to be supporting University’s operating budget to ensure that all works of Christ body are executed with the utmost excellence. Moreover, you are expected to put your hands and feet into direct action. I know that our incredible Outreach Ministry Team stands ready to help you find a place to serve the goodness of Jesus Christ in points locally and around the world. Let’s get to work, the world is waiting and watching to see if we indeed are good.

a great light has gone out

2008-02-27T07:58:00.001-06:00

One of my parishioners died this last weekend. I was driving up to our clergy retreat when I got the call. Sweet Bea Hernandez had passed away over the weekend.

Bea was an incredible woman and my friend. She lived her life with joy and great passion. She was quick with a smile and always ready to laugh. Whenever we were in worship she was often the only one who laughed at my bad jokes – and it wasn’t a pity laugh either! When Mark would tell the congregation to dance, Bea would start her wheelchair spinning in circles and just laugh and sing.

Bea worked with the youth, with our special needs kids, in our worship ministry. She went to UP and traditional worship too. Bea didn’t have much in the way of money, but she was kind and generous. She gave to the church budget and contributed to helping build the new building. Oh, she was so excited about the building opening. She asked that any memorials be directed to our Imagine Building Campaign. I wish I could have seen her rolling across that bridge.

My friend Vicki and I were consoling one another and she said, “A great light has gone out.” That is how I feel too. Bea carried the light of the Holy Spirit inside of her an generated a luminosity all her own. I sure will miss her.

Services will be at University at 2 pm on Thursday.

new sanctuary set to open

2008-02-25T08:26:00.002-06:00

So the long wait looks to finally be over! We are going to open our new facility on Saturday, March 8. Just a few months after I arrived at the U, I was placed on a Building Committee to help shepherd the building process. I'm not sure that I did that, but I did learn a lot and pray a lot. We were led by Jesse Minor, who God has given the broadest shoulders of any man I’ve ever met (spiritually speaking – he’s not a pro-wrestler or anything). Our little team has met and made decisions – then changed our minds – then made decisions – then changed our minds – then, well you get what I’m saying. After four years, we’ve all grown quite close. At any rate, we’re set to open our youth building, the sky bridge, and our new sanctuary and recreation facility. If you are interested in checking it out, here is our worship schedule for opening events:

March 8
5:30 pm: Opening Worship (Begins in the McCreless Gym in South Campus)

March 9
9:30 & 11:00 am: Sunday Worship (North Campus Sanctuary)
5:30 pm: Consecration Worship (North Campus Sanctuary – Guest Preacher: Mike Lowry)

March 16
5:30 pm: Heritage & Hope Worship (North Campus Sanctuary – Guest Preacher: Steve Wende)

Vote

2008-02-23T21:56:00.001-06:00

I am admittedly a political junky. I worked in politics for a number of years and always planned to run for public office. I watch CNN and go online to research candidates and to listen to them in their own words. Sound bites cheat the democratic process. Having worked on local, state, and presidential campaigns, I enjoy observing the drama and intricate movement of the political machine.

We are currently in the midst of a presidential race that is extremely competitive and will likely remain so through the general election. The candidates will parse each other’s statements and exchange sharp words. The campaign workers will cross the line, they just get too caught up in it all and lose perspective. The media will work to take any event, large or small and blow it way out of proportion – especially if it is controversial. All kinds of special interest groups on the fringes of their party will spew hatred from the shadows.

For all that, we will have a change in government and no one will die. No one’s home will be burnt to the ground. The army won’t be mobilized. Armed factions won’t square off. In many places around the world a change in government is accompanied by desperate times and horrible violence. The quest for power and control often flings nations into chaos. In countries around the world, they are bleeding for the right to be counted. This has been true throughout human history and continues to be true today.

Every 4 years, our people have the chance to peacefully overthrow the government and start anew. Absolutely remarkable.

vision

2008-02-07T21:15:00.000-06:00

The following was originally written and published in the February edition of our uzine: The Encourager.

A good friend of mine, and a dynamic lay leader here at the U recently shared this quote as an opening to our Pastor Parish Relations Committee meeting. It is taken from Andy Stanley’s book, Visioneering.

"Whenever you attempt to bring about change, it plays on the insecurities of those who have grown accustomed to the way things are and have always been. In this way, a vision is often seen as a threat. Consequently, it is not uncommon for the negative emotions a vision stirs up in people to be unleashed in the form of criticism. What you are convinced 'should be' will be perceived by others as the very thing that 'should not be.'

To make matters worse, the critics appear to be armed with the 'facts.' Often they have history and experience on their side. And understandably so. A vision is about the future, not the past. A vision has no history. And yet history and experience are what gives birth to a vision. It is past experience that makes the visionary discontent with the way things are. It is from an understanding of history that a picture of could be and should be takes shape. It is unfortunate that the fertile soil of history and experience is the very soil often used to bury a vision. The birthplace of a vision can become its burial ground as well."

As I reflect on Stanley’s words, I cannot help but consider how aptly it captures the entire spirit of God’s work in Jesus Christ. In his son, God gave humanity a vision for the future – a glorious picture of things seen and unseen; a picture of hope and new birth; a picture of life and life eternal.

Yet, there were those whose experience precluded them from embracing the magnitude of God’s vision and plan for the future. It was inconceivable that Jesus should bear the sin of humanity, freeing us from the burden of the law. It was beyond the bounds of history to believe that the God-Man should die and rise again, bringing salvation not through a mighty force of arms, but through the self-surrender of a repentant heart.

When Jesus’ body was placed in the tomb, “the birthplace of a vision became its burial ground as well.” Then God turned history upside down when on the third day, Jesus rose from the dead and ascended into heaven where he sat down at God’s mighty right hand. Where human beings are bound by the rigors of time and the turning clock, God is eternal and experiences no such limitations. Where human beings are bound by what they experience and record in their history, God is able to re-author history and make the impossible a glorious reality.

This work in Jesus Christ continues today in his body: the Church. We are no more bound by our history than Jesus was by his death on a cross. Even as he overcame, by his spirit and will, we also overcome. God is giving birth to vision and impossible dreams. What is impossible for man is possible for God.

Our responsibility as a church is to remember our history in such a way that brings forth new visions and new life. Any prayerful reflection on the history of University should yield enormous praise for the supernatural acts of God accomplished through the obedience of a trusting and God fearing people. Again and again, God has birthed new visions among us. He has brought them to fruition through changes that defy experience or tradition.

As we complete construction and open our North Campus, God is once again demonstrating his ability to do the impossible through the sacrificial obedience of people sold out to a vision of expanding Christ’s Kingdom on earth. This should be a season of celebration – a time to thank God for all his work among us.

Likewise, this should be a season of vision-casting. We should be dreaming dreams together of what God will call us to next. The question which should be on our lips this next year isn’t “what have we done,” rather, “what are we called to do?” Let us be a people who celebrate God’s work in our history while eagerly anticipating the glorious changes he is longing to work in our future.

hey teenager

2008-01-31T08:43:00.001-06:00

(So, in case you didn’t know, Tuesday was my 32nd birthday.)

On Tuesday I was coming out of church on my way to run an errand. My car was parked near the playground of our next door neighbor (an elementary school). As I was walking to the car, a little girl on the playground was running around and laughing. She looked up and saw me walking toward her as I approached my car and yelled with a smile and a wave, “Hey Teenager!”

God is so good.

troubled by talk

2008-01-25T10:40:00.000-06:00

As a preacher, I know that words are powerful. They can shape a conversation and perception to the point they can end up actually defining reality.

I think this is why I am so troubled by the “news” coverage regarding the economy. Facts are reported amidst editorial comment, not separating opinion/analysis from actual happenings. It is certainly more sensational to rant about a recession than report a simple slowdown in growth. As Dave Ramsey pointed out on Larry King Live, a recession has a specific definition. A recession is a decline in the country’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP) for two or more successive quarters. In other words, we don’t experience a recession until we experience economic decline for over 6 months in a row.

We haven’t even had a month of decline – in fact, as Ramsey pointed out, we haven’t experienced a loss yet, just a slow down in growth!

There are certainly major problems facing our country and our economy. It is just frustrating to see reporting that seems to be intentionally scaring people simply because it makes for better television.

If there is a silver lining in all of this, it is Christian financial ministries getting national airtime. Folks like Dave Ramsey, leaders of Crown Ministries and others are able to speak about effective Christian financial management to a country lost in get rich quick schemes and raw materialism. Biblical principles on Christian finance are extremely effective (after all, they are given by God!) for the promotion of healthy family finance.

Here is some good advice from John Wesley, founder of the Methodist Movement. 1) Earn all you can (by a cheerful, hard worker); 2) Save all you can (not in the bank, but rather: be frugal, avoiding excess expenses); 3) Give all you can (for the work of Christ with the least, the last, and the lost).

If you want to read Wesley’s sermon #50 on finances in its entirety, it can be found at http://new.gbgm-umc.org/umhistory/wesley/sermons/50/

and a happy new year

2008-01-07T09:01:00.001-06:00

Well another Christmas season has come and gone. I am so excited to be part of our church. This year, we really set a goal for Christmas of providing maximum invitation and ridiculous hospitality. We supplied the congregation with a special Christmas card every week of advent and our children made 4000 ornaments that were distributed by members of the church to their friends and neighbors. When it was all said and done, we had almost 3000 more people worshiping with us Christmas week in 2007 than we did in 2006! We were right at 8500 people in worship for the week! Praise God for the great people of University and their spirit of invitation and hospitality.

This new year is certain to be an exciting one. For the last 3 ½ years, this church has been working on a building project. It began as a moderate addition – a double gym for recreation and a center for youth ministry. God grew that vision and raised up people willing to make great financial sacrifices and soon we will open our north campus. This expansion will add almost 33% more space to our existing campus!

Personally, I have some excitement this year too, as I prepare for possible ordination in June. Today I am headed out to Kerrville for my final Covenant Connection retreat. I have been attending these every other month for the last three years. At this final meeting, the elders will vote on whether or not to recommend me to the Board of Ordained Ministry as a candidate for full membership in the Order of Elders.

I have a friend, Harriet, who is visiting with our church from Rwanda. She asked me what my prayer is for the new year. Even with all the changes and excitement this year brings, my prayer remains the same as it has been since I first arrived at University. I am praying that God will bring a ten-fold increase to the work of ministry at the church. I don’t really know what all I mean by that, except to look for the number of baptisms and professions of faith to increase. My heart yearns for God’s spirit to find willing and obedient people at University – ready for the movement of His Holy Spirit as He brings renewal and new life!

Every year has been the best year of my life – so far. Some years are easier than others, some are filled with trial. Still, God remains ever faithful and because he does, I love my life and lot more as each year passes. I am confident in God’s faithfulness and so I am confident that 2008 will be a great year!

obedience isn't easy, but it is everything

2008-01-07T08:57:00.000-06:00

The following was orginally written for and published under my"Inspiring Word" column in the January issue of our uzine, The Encourager. To view the whole magazine go to our website at www.uchurch.tv and click on "News & Calendar."

This June, I hope to be ordained as an Elder in the United Methodist Church. I say “hope” because I still have a few interviews left to complete before a final recommendation is made to the Bishop by the Board of Ordained Ministry. It has been a long journey for me. As the end is now in sight, I find myself reflecting more over the long process I have journeyed through to reach this destination.

It was in 1998 that I first began to feel a call to ministry. I took the first steps in the process that year with the pastor of my church in Austin, Sue White. Over the next few years, I began to complete the early requirements in the process – two years of church leadership, a discernment process with a district lay leader, another discernment process with an Elder, the filing of countless reports and documents. In 2001, I began a three year 96 hour Master of Divinity program. After graduating, I began work here at University and entered into a time of “probationary membership” in the order of Elders. I completed a battery of psychological and intelligence tests. I was probed and prodded to determine spiritual, emotional, and physical fitness. Every other month I spend two days being reviewed and analyzed by a committee of Elders. I have submitted hundreds of pages of theological and doctrinal responses for examination.

This year marks ten years of working toward this goal. One third of my life – my entire adult life – has been moving steadily in this direction. I have been filled at times with frustration, anger, hope, joy, and everything in between.

Ten years after perceiving God’s call to ordained ministry – here I am. Here I am on the verge of completing one great chapter in my life. As this chapter comes to an end, I can’t help wondering – what new beginning does God have for me next?

Through this long process, I have learned the need for continued obedience. Even when the way seemed closed, when the path was unclear, when I felt like giving up, God desired my obedience. Even in the worst moments of the journey, I knew that I could not withdraw or shrink from my responsibilities. Jesus Christ saved me. My life is no longer my own.

As I think about my own life, I can’t help but reflect on our church’s journey. For the last four or five years, we have been unified together by a common goal. We have been united in moving toward faithfully executing God’s plan for our congregation. Some among us have spent years and thousands of hours working to bring the church’s vision to fruition with the completion of the new North Campus. Some among us have made deep financial sacrifices in obedience to God’s call. So much of our hopes have been bundled together in this project. So much of our talk, time, and hope is now culminating as the new facility prepares to open. It has been a time of learning, sacrifice, frustration, joy, and everything in between.

I remember the first few meetings of the Building Committee. I’m not sure that any of us really knew what lay ahead. We certainly never suspected that God would do so much – back then our plans were much smaller than his plans.

As this chapter of life comes to a close for the people of University United Methodist Church, I can’t help but wonder – what new beginning does God have for us next?

One thing I know with certainty: Now is the time for us to begin anew. This new year, this new chapter lived together, marks a holy moment for the people of God. Now is the time for us to release anything that divides us. Now is the time for the whole people of God to look beyond their own interest and opinions. Instead, let us look toward the God who is pointing us in new directions and speaking new life into our church life.

It is an exciting moment for us all. We have the opportunity to begin anew. Won’t you prayerfully consider the glorious future God is calling us toward? Won’t you choose to be obedient to his will? Won’t you live out your promise you made to God when you joined this church to support University United Methodist Church with your prayers, your presence, your gifts, and your service?

Christ is counting on University to change our community, our city, and our world. Christ is counting on you to embrace the new life and new beginning we receive when we become his body. The time is now – Come: Let us journey together!

bring on Christmas

2007-12-15T16:26:00.000-06:00

A growing pile of unwrapped presents wait patiently under a well lit tree. The house is blanketed in lights. The mall is past crowded.

Some little elf crew has targeted me for extra cheer. I found a tasteful holiday sign bearing my name hanging outside my garage. On it was a note explaining that gifts would be forthcoming as Christmas approached. I got a pretty little cross this week. I have no idea who it is, but they have sure put some time into it.

I love this time of year.

pictures are worth more anyway

2007-11-28T17:48:00.000-06:00

So, we have been on the go. We've been moving around Boston, went through Lexington, Concord, Marblehead, Rockport, Cape Ann, Plymouth, Martha's Vineyard and all points between. We have seen no less than 100 Duncan Donuts (no idea, but they are EVERYWHERE here.) I am beat and we are headed to Cambridge for dinner soon. I am sure that I will have the energy to summon hugely witty and enlightening thoughts about my trip at some point . . . but probably not today! Instead, you will have to settle for a few pictures (on the right) and make up your own stories about my vacation. Oh, and how about Pat's place up above? Nice, huh?

morning worship

2007-11-25T15:09:00.001-06:00

So we set out this cold Sunday morning headed for church. We had two plans in mind, neither of which came to fruition. Instead we ended up wandering through Cambridge looking for a church to attend. Every time we saw a steeple, we would venture a little further along and go up to read their posted worship hours. We were either too early or too late for each church we found.

Finally, we saw a large Baptist Church and decided to go in. I assumed that a Baptist Church in Boston would be similar to a Methodist Church in San Antonio – at least theologically. I was wrong. It was a unique experience that I would neither trade nor repeat.

This congregation’s twin missions were clear within five minutes of our arrival. The whole of the service, worship guide, and interest card spoke of what they considered their identity as a community. They exist for the promotion of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender folks and for reaching out in love to the homeless of Boston. We prayed the prayer “Inspired by Jesus,” it may be almost familiar to you – “Our Father and Mother, who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name.”

Though the church was massive, the congregation was small. The inside of the church was decorated like a dance studio. Why you ask? Well, they sublet the sanctuary out during the week to a ballet company. Between that, leasing out their parking lot, and receiving of grants from the historical preservation society they keep their church open. As it happens, I sat next to the church’s treasurer.

The people of the church were sweet as could be. My neighbor, the treasurer, opened his hymnal to the right page and handed it to me every time we were to sing. We were greeted warmly and welcomed with what was clearly authentic joy for our presence among them.

Yet for all that, I couldn’t help think – it matters what you believe. It matters what you believe about Jesus, his heavenly Father, and the work of his Spirit and Church. This line of thought isn’t quite developed enough to flesh out here, but I will work on it.

Hope your Sunday is blest and that you spend some time today with the Creator of all. As always, I missed the good folks of University this morning and became more convinced of the supreme blessing it is to be part of the movement of God’s Spirit blowing new life into the heart of a congregation. This simply isn’t the reality of most of America’s churches and we must never grow complacent or forget how greatly we are blest.

but it is a dry cold . . .

2007-11-25T14:40:00.001-06:00

Rusty and I spent the day wandering through the Cambridge area of Boston. It is the home of Harvard and MIT. You could almost feel the brilliance all around. We were nicely layered up for the cold – and boy is it cold.

Boston is an amazing city. Its buildings speak of the city’s brilliant past. Here is the home of the great American experiment. Almost every building seems to have a sign of some sort claiming to be America’s First or Boston’s longest running.

We had dinner last night in the Italian area of town. A large party of Italians ate on one side and another large family of Italian Americans ate on the other. The host, Paul sat us quickly while telling others it would be an hour to an hour and a half wait. I’m not sure why he extended us such kindness, perhaps he knew we were from out of town.

The thick accents of Bostonians, Italians, and Irishmen are everywhere. Culture and ethnic identity evidently never quite melted here. You get the feeling that sights, sounds, and smells observed today could as easily have greeted visitors two hundred years ago.

At the same time, the city is young and vibrant. Home to numerous colleges and universities, Boston is a youthful city. Everywhere we go there are young people. The city is active and vibrant, contradicting the age of the structures – but in an oddly complementary way.

vacation update

2007-11-23T20:18:00.000-06:00

What a great vacation. I hope to have some time to share some good thoughts I have been considering during my time off, but I thought I should at least update you on my adventures thus far.

I spent a few days with my sister and her boys in Houston, then flew to Miami where I met an old friend from seminary. Needless to say, we pretty much owned South Beach from the moment we set foot on the island. What a wild place. Surreal, really. From there we jumped on a cruise ship and headed to Nassau, Bahamas. We rented scooters and toured the small island paradise.

I know they are not for everyone, but I loved the cruise. I am definitely a cruiser and will be doing it again. I ate a ton, went to the shows, and enjoyed the water immensely. Even the first night when we had 15 foot seas and lots of people were in their cabins sick, we had a huge dinner in a largely deserted dining room and laughed as we lurched our way around the boat!

After the cruise, I spent Thanksgiving with my folks in Houston. The usual huge supper, making crosses in my dad’s shop, and generally enjoying the comfort only felt in the house you grew up in.

So, I had a quick pit stop tonight in San Antonio to unload one suitcase, reload another, and drop off Maddie (my dog). She is staying here this week with a good friend who is house sitting for me. I will be in Boston this next week seeing the sights with my friend, Rusty Freeman. Look for us Sunday night, we will be at the Patriots game. We will be the ones shivering in the cold!

from my one reader

2007-11-19T20:09:00.001-06:00

In my last article in the Encourager, I asked reader(s) to share things about our church for which they are thankful. Here is a list emailed to me from one of them:

Things I am thankful for at UUMC:

The wonderful people
God's salvation
God's love
The beautiful building
Our many missions
The children
The Youth program
My friends
Our wonderful, smart, overworked pastors
Mark and his many talented musicians and vocalists
Volunteers with servant hearts
Mary McKay and her wonderful music minsitry
Did I mention the children?

and especially...

The Space for Me!!
It fits me perfectly.
No one else would fit in my funny-shaped "ME" space at UUMC!
I especially thank God for my space!

a slow start

2007-11-09T07:58:00.000-06:00

I always seem to have trouble starting a vacation. I have put work aside, but now I am just messing around the house. I have this thing where I don’t like to go out of town unless it is clean. Why this should be, I have no idea – particularly since I don’t generally keep it clean when I am in town . . .

I finally have some plans for my time off. I had really wanted to do a visit to NYC, do something tropical, and go home for Thanksgiving, but Rusty’s passport had expired so we decided to go to Boston for a week instead of Costa Rica. I am pretty pumped – he somehow managed to get us tickets to see the Patriots play! Given that this may be a perfect season now that they have squeaked by the Colts, it will be cool to say, “I was there.”

While I was online trying to get some tickets and hotel reservations for NYC, I noticed this thing called, “Last Minute Deals.” One of the options was a cruise to the Bahamas for only a couple hundred dollars. So, I called my friend, Rob who I was scheduled to see in New York and asked him if he would rather hit up Miami and the Bahamas for a couple of days. “Last minute deals:” It feels so wrong to be rewarded for procrastinating.

Before and between the two trips, I am going home to see my family!

Oh, and for those waiting for word on the hair, don’t worry, Nancy wouldn’t do red. It’s more of a purple.

ready or not, or not ready

2007-11-07T11:10:00.000-06:00

Well, day one of my annual vacation is off to a stutter start. I woke up early with 1000 things on my mind – none of them tropical beaches, snow covered mountains, or reclining chairs. So, I am spending the morning cleaning out my email inbox – at least responding to the people who got their correspondence in before I set up my, “I am out until December 1” auto response. I figure it would be pretty rude to leave people in the lurch for 3 weeks without them knowing they are in the lurch! I also have a decidedly non-vacation meeting this afternoon with my mentor for covenant connection. This is our last meet – we have met once a month for the last 3 years – so I am justifying the work time during vacation as a visit to an old friend! (I know, I know, but we really are friends and it is absolutely the last “work related” moment of the vacation, I promise. (Ahem.)

After that, I am going to see the wonderfully gifted and talented, Nancy Madden. For those few of you who don’t also go to Nancy, she is a barber extraordinaire. Ok, technically she is totally a stylist, but my manhood can only tolerate going to a stylist – not admitting that I have one. I am pretty excited. We have been planning something a little different for some time now. I fully intent to walk out with some red hair today. Unfortunately, some of you have gotten to Nancy somehow so she is unwilling to make my hair RED, but will make it just, red. I was really hoping for some fire engine type highlights. Apparently though, word has gotten out and some of my friends who also get their haircut by Nancy complain loudly every time she does something a little too creative with my hair. Anyway, we shall see.

Beyond my haircut today, the rest of the vacation is a little bit fuzzy. I am positive now what I will be doing, just not 100% on the when. I will be stomping around nyc with my best seminary bud, Rob – a New York native (Buffalo). I will also be home for Thanksgiving. The pollsters have spoken! Finally, Rusty Freeman and I are headed up to Boston to catch a New England Pats game. That should be pretty cool, I think. I have not ever been in the North East, so I am excited to see some new country.

Well, I best finish tying up loose ends. Maybe I’ll put up a picture after I finish my stint in the . . . er . . . barber’s chair. No promises though, we’ll have to see how it comes out!

vacation plans (or lack there of)

2007-11-02T08:23:00.001-06:00

Well, I have managed to take procrastination to a whole new low. I am scheduled to begin my annual vacation in just a few short days, but I haven’t confirmed a single plan yet for my time off. At one point, I had an itinerary to Rwanda, a plan for Costa Rica, and information on a number of cruises.

Vacation begins next Wednesday and I have no idea what I am doing! The great news is, I can pretty much go anywhere in the world at a moments notice. Not everything about being single is great – but this is sure one of them! I have my passport and shots from previous travels, I just need to get a move on.

Here is what I know for sure: My friend Rusty and I are going to something, sometime. I’d like to do Thanksgiving with my family in Houston. I wouldn’t mind a little NYC trip to see my seminary bud, Rob. I really enjoyed being in Colorado for my work trip last month and haven’t been skiing in YEARS.

So, I invite you to take the survey off to the side and cast your vote on Ryan’s fantasy vacation schedule. Don’t worry; there is plenty of time to cast your vote . . .

giving thanks

2007-11-01T12:12:00.000-06:00

The following was orginally written for and published under my"Inspiring Word" column in the November issue of our uzine, The Encourager. To view the whole magazine go to our website at www.uchurch.tv and click on "News & Calendar."

Last year during the Thanksgiving holiday my dad took a little notebook and passed it around. He started with the grandchildren, moved onto the children, and finally he and mom filled in their pages. We were all required to list the things for which we were thankful. I thought it was a little silly – until it was my turn.

I started with the obvious, paused, and then filled the page with my gratitude for all that God had done in my life. Big and small, it was all there in my heart. Acknowledgment of God’s provision and providence humbled me.

When I was done, I couldn’t help but sneak a peek at what the others in my family had written. I was moved by their obvious love for God and one another. I could see that taking some time to give thanks was an equally worthwhile endeavor for them.
This month, I want you to pause as you read this column. I want to invite you to grab a piece of paper, pick up a pen, and begin to make a list of everything about University for which you are thankful. Go ahead.

Seriously, stop reading and start writing. The column will continue when you are done. . .

This year as I reflect on God’s good gifts, I am overwhelmed by the number of blessings I could list. As always, I am thankful for the people of the church – the ones who are new this year and those who have been standing by my side for years. I thank God for the opportunities to share the Gospel he has given with our new unite service. I am grateful for Charles Anderson’s leadership and the exciting movement of God’s Spirit in the church.

Most of all, I am simply marvel that God has given me the opportunity to be a blessing. Have you ever considered that idea? God, in whom all glory and honor rests, has invited us to be partners with him in building his Kingdom. It is almost unfathomable to me that God would invite me to be his friend, his partner.

This is the good news of the Jesus’ Gospel. We are invited not only to serve his kingdom, we are invited to be co-heirs in building and administering it. When God first called his servant Abraham, he instructed him to be a blessing to all people. When he called Israel, it was to be a blessing to the nations. When he called the church, it was to bless sinners and saints alike.
It is remarkable that God has called flawed and broken people to be the instruments of his holy work. Yet, that is precisely the course he has chosen. You and I have been invited to stand shoulder to shoulder with Jesus Christ, the Son of God and Savior of Man. Together in ministry we are invited to share in his work, his suffering, and his glory. We are invited to be active participants in the redemptive work of God among his creation. We get to go where Jesus goes, feel what Jesus feels, and do what Jesus does. God has blessed us by allowing us to be a blessing to others.

By the way, I would love for you to share your list with me. Post it here on the comments section, email it to me, or drop it off at the church. I will post some of your thoughts on my blog throughout November!

high gear

2007-10-27T09:30:00.001-06:00

It has been such a hectic time. By nature I am such a frenetic person – a true workaholic who enjoys a fast paced environment – that I usually feel as though I am moving faster than the world around me and trying to pull my life along behind me. These days, just the opposite is true. I feel like my world is moving faster than I am and I am being drug along into the future.

A lot of this added pressure comes directly from the impending opening of our new facility. There is so much work to be done – so many decisions to be made. They arrive in interconnected waves. Even the ones that on the surface appear simple have a way of compounding through time.

On top of that, I have my ordination examinations looming and have one final push of work to complete for that process.

In the end, I feel as though I am probably short-changing everything just a little in order to keep pace with all my spinning plates. Worst of all, I know that I am doing a poor job of keeping up with friends and family (somehow they get the shortest end of the stick).

So, I did the best thing I know to do when I find myself in this place. Yesterday, I took the day off. All the way off. I didn’t even check email and refused to answer the phone for anything business related. It was really great to put everything in neutral and take a deep breath. I feel like I can now put it back into high gear and run the next leg of the race.

white knuckled

2007-10-11T07:43:00.001-06:00

The following was originally written and published in the October edition of our uzine: The Encourager. To view the entire magazine in PDF form go to: http://news.uchurch.tv/Encourager/The%20Encourager%20October%202007.pdf

When I ride a roller coaster it is with both arms up in the air – I don’t hold onto the rail in front of me. That’s because I trust the machine. I’ve ridden a lot of roller coasters – the faster and more insane the ride, the better. I’ve taken enough rides to trust that I’m not going to fall out. That’s why I can raise my hands and let the adrenaline flow. I noticed that when I went with our sixth grade students to Astroworld in Houston that many of them clung on for dear life. Their little knuckles turned white from the pressure exerted from their grip. They obviously haven’t had enough experience on the rides to just let go and enjoy the ride – trusting in the experience.

When it comes to generosity, I have to confess that I am a “white knuckle” giver. This is a marked improvement from where I once was. It used to be that I didn’t give anything to anyone. As I grew in my faith, I started putting a little something in the plate at church (just whatever was in my pocket at the time). Finally, I tried making a pledge to the church. I wanted to be accountable for the spiritual discipline of giving that is necessary to be a true disciple of Jesus Christ. Full of good intentions, I made my pledge and wrote a few checks. Unfortunately, I would get behind in my giving and before I knew it, I wasn’t giving anything at all because I was so far behind in my pledge that I thought I could never catch up – so I gave up.

One year the option to make an EFT (electronic fund transfer) became available. Now this is where the rubber hit the road. There was no waiting to the end of the month to see if I could honor my commitment with leftovers. My faith was at stake. Did I trust God or didn’t I? Had I had enough experience with God to begin to release my death grip on my possessions? I am not over-exaggerating when I call it a death grip. My need to control my possessions was killing my spiritual growth. So, I took the plunge: I pledged 10% (the tithe that God requires) to the church and signed up for the EFT. The money rolled out of my account every month and I had to adjust the rest of my spending habits. I bought fewer new clothes, ate out less, and found cheaper ways to entertain myself. Instead of giving God the leftovers, I gave him the first fruit of my labor and I lived on what was left.

It has been an exciting ride with calls too close for comfort, but you may have noticed that I have not only survived, I have thrived. These days, God is doing an even deeper work in this white knuckle giver. I have been discovering the joy of sharing my financial resources beyond just my tithe and my building project pledge. In trusting the one who holds me, I find that I don’t have to hang on quite so firmly. I am slowly discovering that generosity lies at the heart of the Christian faith.

Any understanding of faith that ignores generosity is theologically bankrupt (pun intended). All life was born from the overflow of God’s creative generosity. Consider the heavens, the complexity of life, the earth’s broad biodiversity – ours is not a stingy deity. Our relationship with God was cultivated from his generous love. He invited us into relationship with him. He invited us into his presence. Even when we rebelled against his love, he maintained his steadfast generosity, making final payment to ransom mankind away from sin and death to life and life eternal. Jesus gave everything for us – pouring out his blood, his life, and his Spirit in the ultimate act of generosity.

Like everything else in our spiritual life, being faithful in our giving requires trusting in God. We have to start by climbing onto the roller coaster. We have to ride it a few times. At some point though, we have to choose to let go and trust. Let go of control. Let go of the safety bar. In the end, it isn’t the tightness of your grip that keeps you safe.

catholic mass

2007-10-04T14:16:00.001-06:00

Last Saturday night, I decided to check out the Catholic mass at St. Joseph’s in Salida. It was a great experience and I learned a few things as well. The priest was German, I think – though I could be wrong about the accent. He did a nice job on a very brief homily about the rich man and Lazarus.

There were a couple of things about the service I really liked. I liked how the people bowed to the Lord’s table before they went up on the chancel to read or speak. I liked how the women kind of curtseyed when they left the pew and headed out. I really enjoyed when the congregation knelt down together. We protestants are missing out. I know God has called us friend, but you still kneel before your friend when he is the king.

The thing I learned is how uncomfortable it feels to be a visitor who doesn’t really know what is going on. The songs were unfamiliar. I know the creeds and Lord’s Prayer, but not the ones they knew! They used 3 different resources to guide the service and I rarely knew which book to look in – much less which page once I figured out which book! They all knew when and how to respond to key liturgical exchanges. I did not. They sat, stood, and knelt in unison. They knew when to hold hands and when to raise their arms. I did not.

Truly, I felt like a fish out of water – and I am a pastor. My lesson learned is this: No matter how hospitable we think we are; no matter how self-explanatory we think something is; no matter how visitor friendly we think we are – we can always to better. People who visit our church don’t know our rituals. They don’t know what to read or say or when to respond. We are moving into a time when people have no Christian memory – no past experience with the church to guide them.

Our hospitality must be ridiculous. It must consider ever moment of a guest’s experience with us – from the time they pull into the parking lot to the time they leave. I am very thankful for Pastor Adam, Luanne Mire, and their team of people who are even now working to continually improve our welcoming ministries at the U.

Oh, and thanks to the faithful saints of St. Joe’s. The authenticity of your worshiping body was refreshing to my soul. I give you my highest praise: I experienced the power and presence of God while I was among you.

PS: I did go to Sunday services at the Methodist church Sunday morning!

times are a'changin

2007-10-03T14:36:00.000-06:00

So, I made it over to Garden of the gods today and as inspiring as it was, I left a little disappointed. I remembered going there as a child and crawling all over the huge formations. Last time I was here, you could hike all over the park – getting up close and personal with the giant formations.

Things are very different today. They have paved the sidewalks and placed signs every 50 yards reminding you to stay on the path. Apparently back in 1994, they began a process of reclamation of the natural grasses and protecting the park. I understand the need and applaud their effort, but I couldn’t help but be disappointed. I was all geared up for a long hike punctuated by scrambling up exquisite red rock formations. Oh, well.

It was a great drive back over to Salida. I stopped at Walmart on my way out of town (I couldn’t find any other place!) and bought a bandana to hold my hair out of my face and 3 cds (coldplay, the fray, and passion worship). The sun was shining and it truly was a perfect day. I rolled all the windows down, opened the sunroof, turned the stereo all the way up, and enjoyed the 2.5 hour drive. It was truly spectacular.

a couple of days off

2007-10-01T21:25:00.001-06:00

I decided to take a few days off from the grind and enjoy Colorado a little bit. So, I left Salida and headed over to Colorado Springs. I haven't been here since I was a kid, but I vividly remember a few places -- 7 Falls, Garden of the gods, and Pikes Peak. I decided to revisit these treasured places. I spent today at 7 Falls. I climbed all the steps and took all the trails. Because of that, the other two attractions will have to wait until tommorrow. For now, my poor legs need a break. I am not sure if I will have time to visit the north pole (on Pike's Peak), but the Garden will certainly be visited! Enjoy this picture of 7 Falls -- oh, and the other ones along the side panel of the blog -- I used my auto-timer to take all of those myself. Luckily, the park was really empty today so no one was there to witness my scrambling into position as the 10 seconds ticked off!

salida colorado

2007-09-30T20:53:00.000-06:00

Well, week one of the Rocky Mountain Preaching Retreat is drawing to a close. I have been so blessed by my time here. I have gotten weeks – even months – worth of work done during this time. So far, I have completed the upraise and unite preaching calendars for 2007 & 2008. (Seriously, every week is titled with Scriptures included). I have the first 11 weeks of sermons in 2008 outlined. I have written several articles for our uzine, The Encourager, as well as some church wide correspondence that has to go out next month. I finished updating the 2008 Confirmation Curriculum and even managed to squeeze in a little reading. Of all that, I am most excited about the 2008 preaching calendar. Next year in upraise & unite we will be doing the following sermon series:

Alpha: Basic Training for Christians
Living Beyond Myself: based on the Volunteer Revolution curriculum
Forgive us our Debts . . . Please: some practical teaching on managing family finance in a godly way
Meaning in a Meaningless World: this will be our summer series and we will study the entire book of Ecclesiastes.
University for Life: We will present the Vision Map for discipleship at the U.
Enough: Next year’s stewardship campaign
Maximum Exposure: God’s character revealed
Christmas Now & Then: a look at the people who witnessed the birth and what it means for us today

I still have a lot of work on tap for next week, but even if I didn’t get anything else done, it has been hugely productive.

It has also been fun to share meals with some of Charles’ oldest friends and peers in ministry. They are great men who I have enjoyed laughing and sharing the fellowship of the table with.

movements

2007-09-28T16:06:00.000-06:00

The following has been long in coming, though its long gestation in my hard drive does not mean that it is accurate, informative, or particularly helpful. However, it is something that I have thinking about for a while.

Movements are chaotic: they can move from point A to point B, but only after visiting points X and G – and maybe coffee at point M. Movements are led by passionate people who will try almost anything once. They buck convention and seem to turn their nose up at established norms. Many of them smell strange.

Movements and the people who lead and participate in them are not always easy to get along. They don’t seem to recognize the long history of those who came before them. At their worst, movements become mobs that lose their focus and never arrive at their destinations. At their best, movements forever alter the landscape of human history.

It is hard to know exactly why a movement begins. Actually, it is even difficult to pinpoint when a movement begins. Generally they seem to be best defined retrospectively – both in terms of their duration and ultimate destination. Movements seem to generate energy of their own, carried forward by an increasing number of increasingly passionate people. They will have a nucleus of people who are prayerfully guiding the direction of the growing multitudes. The successfulness of the overall movement will largely be defined by how well the nucleus holds together and how well they can charismatically articulate a vision.

I think that University is in the midst of a burgeoning movement. I am watching with interest as people – people that I respect and admire – leave everything to come and be part of the church. Over and over, I am interviewing potential leaders for ministry (both paid and unpaid) who say they just want to be part of what God is doing. Likewise, extraordinary opportunities regularly pop up for our highly gifted staff. Yet, they say no to those opportunities to say, yes to the one at University. They are willing to sacrifice in order to be in the center of a movement of God. They aren’t even sure what it is he is doing, but they are willing to sell out to it.

Certainly the winds of change are blowing. You can’t see the wind, but like the strong southerly flow over the Gulf of Mexico – you can certainly feel the waves the wind is producing. For some, the waves are cause for great concern. They were for the disciples (Mark 4.35-40). For others, the waves are cause for great joy – because, hey, surf’s up!

As I step away from our church in particular and look at the history of the church universal, I find that we are not on unfamiliar ground. Since its beginning 2000 years ago, the body of Jesus Christ has moved in a particular cycle. There is a time of renewal and growth led by a group of people committed to personal and social holiness. There is soon massive momentum propelling a movement among God’s church. It grows and swells as people come to know the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Soon the movement begins to institutionalize in order to hold everything together. Buildings are erected. Systems of management are put in place. An institution replaces the movement and everyone takes a long needed deep breath. As it stabilizes, the church is able to be more things for more people. The mission widens to good and great ends, but some focus is lost. This period of stability and success may last for a generation or more. Sooner or later, the Spirit of God begins to stir change and a movement once again begins. The whole cycle repeats itself again and again. This process is always marked by the struggle and necessary tension between the stability that the institution provides and the push toward new birth that a movement generates.

grandmom's funeral

2007-09-26T16:12:00.000-06:00

Right before Spring Break in 2004, my paternal grandmother passed away. I was in my final semester of seminary, rapidly approaching graduation. Grandmom had been sick for a while and in and out of the hospital. Although I should probably have been expecting the call, I wasn’t. Not really. She had made a series of good recoveries and I guess I just thought she would again.

Anyway, my dad calls me and tells me that Grandmom has died and it is time to come home for the funeral. I get everything squared away in Wilmore, Kentucky (where I am in school) and prepare to spend my spring break with family remembering my grandmother. While I am packing, my dad calls and asks if I would be willing to say a few words on behalf of the family at the funeral. Sure, no problem.

My dad calls again and says he has talked with Grandmom’s pastor and wants to know if I would do the “homily” at the service. Now, for a Methodist boy like me, homily is just another word for really short devotional thought. In my mind, I have just been asked to include some scripture in my few short words on behalf of the family. Sure, no problem.

I go flying off to Dallas where my dad lives. The day of the funeral arrives, Dad and Susan leave for the service. My little brother and I take a separate car – for some reason that I don’t remember, but had significant consequences. We arrive JUST before the service is scheduled to start. Somehow we got lost or ran late. I don’t remember, really. Actually, I only think it was my little brother in the car with me – considering I was most likely lost it seems unlikely that he was with me (that kid is like a breathing mapquest).

I digress. It doesn’t really matter why we were late (or even who was with me . . .) the important part is that I arrived shortly before the service began.

I walked into the holding room where my extended family was gathered to the relief of my parents who said the church pastors were looking for me. They needed to know what my Gospel reading would be. And whether I would be reading it or if I wanted one of them to read it for me. My confusion turned to inward panic when they handed me the bulletin for the service and there in the heart of the whole shebang was “Rev. Ryan Barnett” – homily. First, I am not a “Rev.” at this point. Second, I look in vain for the other “Rev.” with “sermon” by their name. Nope.

Apparently when you translate “homily” from Lutheran into Methodist it means “sermon.” Lots of prayers in a short amount of time.

My grandmother’s pastor finds me and asks me if I would like to “see their pulpit.” Sure, no problem. They ask if I want to go ahead and put my sermon in the pulpit now or if I want to hang onto it. “I think I will hang onto it,” I say as I pat my empty coat pocket.

In the end, it went fine. My grandmother was the kind of woman it is easy to speak of during a funeral. She was a Christ-centered, Godly woman who gave grace and love in abundance to everyone. She was loved in her family, her church, and her community. I think I am glad I didn’t really know what I was doing. I’m not sure I could have/would have done it had I known in advance.