Men vs. Wild

I took yesterday afternoon off and met my friend from Austin, A.J. up at the Guadalupe River for a little fun in the sun. We swam in the river, basked in the sun, and generally had a good time talking theology and catching up on life.

It was nearing twilight when we saw a snake making its way from the opposite bank over towards our spot – just a little downstream from us. We did the only thing a guy can do in such a situation – we started chuckin’ rocks. Well, the snake turned around, swam back across the river and holed up in its lair. Being the manly men that we are, we declared our victory and (after the slightest pause . . . ahem) jumped into the water to claim our domain.

While we were swimming, we noticed the serpent again making its way from the opposite bank towards our camp. The tribal man in us sprung into action. In a flurry of activity we emerged from the water, scooped up rocks and sticks and headed for battle. As the viper beached himself we threw a warning shot into the river behind him – hoping to block his escape. He wasn’t planning on going anywhere. It was on.

As I hurled my first projectile, he coiled, began shaking his tale and unhinged his jaw giving us a good view of his fangs set against the white background of his mouth. His sudden movement caused my first shot to be a miss and he shot up the bank after me.

AJ was just behind me and now the snake was between us. He swung hard with a large stick which shattered against the rock just missing the snake. Unfortunately, drift wood isn’t all that sturdy! Nevertheless, AJ’s shot caused the snake to turn and head back for the water. He had had enough of us.

Little did he know that I am a student of King David. I threw the rock in my left hand and watched it momentarily sink the snake now a few feet from the shore. Even while the first was in flight, I transferred the much larger projectile from my left to right hand and let fly. I got him square on the head. Whether he was stunned or dead at that point, I don’t know. Just to be sure, we pulled him out of the water and finished him off, again. And, again.

This morning, I decided to do a little research on our snake and here is what I read.

Water Moccasin:

When sufficiently stressed, this species engages in a characteristic threat display that includes vibrating its tail and throwing its head back with its mouth open to display the startling white interior, while the neck and front part of the body are pulled into an S-shape. Many of its common names, including "Cottonmouth" and "gapper", refer to this behavior, while its habit of snapping its jaws shut when anything touches its mouth has earned it the name "trap-jaw" in some areas.

At night, they are at their most active, when they are usually found swimming or crawling. Contrary to popular belief, they are capable of biting while underwater.

Symptoms commonly include ecchymosis and swelling. The pain is generally more severe than bites from the copperhead, but less so than those from rattlesnakes. The formation of vesicles and bullae is less common than with rattlesnake bites, although necrosis can occur. Myokymia is sometimes reported. On the other hand, the U.S. Navy (1991) states that the venom has strong proteolytic activity that can lead to severe tissue destruction.

Yikes. Happy tubing campers . . .

PS: Just so I don’t hear from PETA or the like, remember:

Genesis 3:14-15:
“14 So the LORD God said to the serpent,
"Because you have done this, "Cursed are you above all the livestock
and all the wild animals! You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust all the days of your life.

15 And I will put enmity between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and hers;
he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel."